Here's one I haven't seen addressed...Personal Pursuits

[Trav]

...and I assume that it's probably because most of you are married, or "other"...(I place no judgements...just making note)...

...but has anyone been far enough along in their journey that they've been testing the waters as far as post-op dating and the ilk? (dating is the devil, imo)...but I'm curious to know, what types of things people say, or when and if you let them into that tidbit of knowledge that you're a WLS patient. OR, is dating just a distraction that you don't feel you need, because it would add one element of stress that you don't need while we're all trying to get into smaller clothing?

I don't know if anyone suffers from stress eating, I suppose the band would be a blessing and a curse. You can't eat that chocolate triple explosion fudge brownie mint chocolate chip with shots and chocolate syrup........but you really want to. anyway, hardly the point.

I'm just curious as to what people's experiences have been, if they even have done a little bit of dating.

[Kim2BSlim]

I am married, so I don't date, however I am blown away by the attention I receive from men now. I used to be invisible when I walked into places, but now I hold my head up high and strut! LOL

As you continue to lose weight, your self confidence will soar! It won't be long until women are coming up to you instead of you having to go to them. I would probably not mention the WLS until after I got to know the person really good and seen if things were gonna work out. That's just my opinion though.

[Kittycat]

I have been married for 19 years and overweight for most of those years...I am a lucky lady to have such a wonderful husband who loves my curves no matter how big they got. He's loving the smaller ones more now.

I have been getting alot of looks from men as well lately, which is surprising. I am not a young lady, 45 years old.

Believe me...with every pound you lose your confidence will rise up and up and you will be dating and turning heads in no time!!

Best of Luck!!!

[Kimmy in MD]

Hi Trav,

I am dating a bit since my surgery. I started around July this past summer. I would say try to avoid a "meal" as a first date because it is hard and if you have to PB makes it tough. On my first, first date since surgery, I did have to PB and had to leave the table quickly a couple times. Kind of embarassing and of course since I didn't finish my food the guy thought I was feeling sick and felt bad for me. DID NOT SAY A WORD ABOUT MY SURGERY. He did ask me out again though, so must not have been as awful as I thought it was.

Later this summer I tried "speed dating" which was pretty fun and not nearly as awkward as I expected. I had a couple matches from that but never met up with them because in the interim I started dating someone else more regularly and wasn't really interested in juggling a few guys. Just don't have time for that.

The guy I started dating knows I had the surgery because he was a friend of a neighbor and she told him I was having/had the surgery, not sure why she told him except to maybe gossip about me or something, but his response to her was "Why? She doesn't need it." In the end it has made it easier since he knew already and it has made me a cheap date since I typically only order soup or an appetizer if we eat out.

Best suggestion for when your ready, try to find "activity" based dates instead of "food/drinking" based dates. Like go hiking or visit a museum or something instead of doing dinner.

Hope that helps.

[tlag]

I'm engaged so not really dating except for my fiance, but ............ It is so true. people really look at you different as you lose weight. It's pretty sad that people are so judgemental, but thats our world anymore. I would tend to agree with the rest, I probably would not mention the WLS until things go further. It's nobody's business, and you don't want them to have any reason to judge you. Good luck, and your wt loss is doing great, keep it up!!!

[nothereanymore]

You'll have fun and things will change - and you're right some of us are taken - however I know many beautiful ladies on this forum are single!

What’s odd for me is I’m clueless – as an old married lady I have a hard time seeing when people are checking me out or trying to pick me up. My friends are good enough to tell me after the event happens. But I’m starting to notice it more and more – and love telling my husband! (Who I think is the sexiest guy on the earth)

I have to go out a lot for business, which often include cocktail parties. I don’t tell these strangers that I have the band – but if my server looks cool I’ll often clue them in and ask for help. Like making sure they understand I can’t eat all of my food and to clear my plate away when I signal – or else you’ll have the uncomfortable – “was every thing alright”?? response to the fact that you don’t eat everything or much of anything for that matter. I also let them know that I don’t drink a lot and to keep the water with lemon coming but my wine consumption will be slow. Most love to help and really are awesome, so you might think of working with your servers to help you out at first.

Its amazing the way things change as you loose the weight. You’ll have fun!!

[Willi333]

I'm super happily married ... so not out there looking, but if it was me ....I would try to arrange something that is not about FOOD etc.

Sometimes, when I'm out for dinner, I tend to make a too big of a bite or eating to fast with not chewing enough --->> means after the second bite I have to take a break to see if I have to excuse myself :lb12:

Having the surgery is one thing, sharing it with someone you don't really know that well is a different one, so I would probably not tell my date until I think it get's more serious

Have fun