I need your prayers...please

[doinitagann]

hey all,

I am in a really bad position right now. Husband and I have been seperated for a month now and out pastor has asked us to go back to counseling. There has been no progress in last month, in fact things have gotten so much worse. I am asking for prayers for wisdom, discernment and for an open heart to whatever needs to be done. Whether it is divorce or it is to work on things. I am an emotional wreck. Talk about Satin's work. He has his claws deep into my husband. Not to mention a very hardened heart. Prayers for him, that he will come back to know and walk with the Lord. For those of you who do not pray, I understand but I KNOW that I would have never made it this far without my relationship with God, He strengthens me.

[Guest CaraMBA09]

hey all,

I am in a really bad position right now. Husband and I have been seperated for a month now and out pastor has asked us to go back to counseling. There has been no progress in last month, in fact things have gotten so much worse. I am asking for prayers for wisdom, discernment and for an open heart to whatever needs to be done. Whether it is divorce or it is to work on things. I am an emotional wreck. Talk about Satan's work. He has his claws deep into my husband. Not to mention a very hardened heart. Prayers for him, that he will come back to know and walk with the Lord. For those of you who do not pray, I understand but I KNOW that I would have never made it this far without my relationship with God, He strengthens me.

I am not a religious person, but do believe in good, evil and that there is a GOD.

Once someone gets on a path that leads them the wrong direction, it is usually sex, drugs and alcohol that is contributing to the toxic behavior.

That person needs to change for themself. It sounds like HE needs the counseling first and foremost.

You are a gorgeous gal who has made a huge effort to stay on the right path and change her life. Keep that CLOSE, because noone can take away your strength unless you let them...and being a victim is the worst!

You are in my thoughts. oodles, cara

[shrty835]

Girl, my prayers are with you. Blessings and please stay strong.

[Willi333]

You are a gorgeous gal who has made a huge effort to stay on the right path and change her life. Keep that CLOSE, because noone can take away your strength unless you let them...and being a victim is the worst!

You are in my thoughts. oodles, cara

I can only ditto that! My thoughts and prayers go out to you >

[CottonwoodAZ]

You can do all things with God who strenghens you!!! You will be in my prayers! Try not to emotionaly eat. I love that I give this advice when Im the biggest emotional eater in the world. I just dont want you to hurt the band, and I know what a tough time your going through. Remember Jesus Is Carrying you through all this so rest in Him!

[DaGreen]

> Stay strong! You have all my thoughts.

[ackovach]

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Amy

[JazzyJude]

Sweetie - my prayers are with you and so is God. What is meant to be so be it. Stay strong and believe everything has it's purpose and it's the right course to go forward with...keep the faith!

[happygirl02]

my prayers are definitely with you heidi! 7 years ago my husband gave in to satan's lies in his life and believed that he was doing the "best thing for our kids and our family" by leaving for his own happiness. the combination of satan's lies and his own self-doubt had caused him to believe that another woman was more supportive and that his happiness was more important than his commitments to wife, kids and christ. it should have been the biggest hell in my life but instead of giving in to my own sin (hatred, anger, EATING ), i turned to God to be all that i needed in life. i had no choice - i couldn't control things - it was in god's hands. and i knew that i needed to be in a place that if everything was taken from me, i'd still be okay and i'd still praise god because he was and is all i'll ever need in this life. although my marriage was not restored because my husband was and is still so very blinded and drifted, god has been with me every step of the way. my daughter has been carried through this tragedy and remains strong in her trust of god. he brought me an amazing new husband that is an incredible father and we feel so very blessed to be together (he also had a christian spouse who left for another man).

i tell you my story not to discourage you or have you thinking that your marriage may not be restored, but to let you know that whatever the outcome, god will be your everything if you will allow. he will provide in ways you never thought you even would need.

i will continue to pray for you and i hope you'll keep us updated so that we can know how to pray.

love julie

[taras2girls]

Heidi,

You are such a pretty lady, and I hate to see you going through all of this. I'm not "real" religious, however I do believe in God. This might help:

Serenity Prayer:

God, Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

Remember we are here for you. Please turn to us and not food.

Tara

[mona-camille]

My thoughts, prayers and good wishes are there for you!

And Cara, I couldn't have said it better than you did!

[mlgpdx]

I will keep you in positive thoughts and good vibes to the universe.

[Guest CaraMBA09]

My thoughts, prayers and good wishes are there for you!

And Cara, I couldn't have said it better than you did!

Thanks Mona! I have kissed a few toads...I would like to think I have been there through this kind of hurt. You cannot change people...no matter how hard you can try.

[Kittycat]

I am with Cara and hope that you both find the path that leads to a happier life!!

Take care.

[doinitagann]

First of all, THANK YOU to all that replied and prayed, it means so much.

Well, let me give you a little update on the appt. The counselor believes our sort of relationship has about a 5% chance of surviving. He says this because only one of us will actually make any action toward healing. I have found out my husbands drinking and gambling has gotten much worse since I left. Add these things to the fact that the counselor is fearful of his video game playing as well. I did not think that was as destructive but the counselor does. We have some homework to do before we go back next week, lets hope and pray that he will actually do it and move forward. I am a little stronger now that we went to counseling, the counselor made me feel like it is okay to feel like I am feeling. Whatever happens I can be strong and know that I did everything I possible could to fix this marriage.

as far as eating, this is the best diet in the world, I can't even think of food. :lb12:

[mona-camille]

First of all, THANK YOU to all that replied and prayed, it means so much.

Well, let me give you a little update on the appt. The counselor believes our sort of relationship has about a 5% chance of surviving. He says this because only one of us will actually make any action toward healing. I have found out my husbands drinking and gambling has gotten much worse since I left. Add these things to the fact that the counselor is fearful of his video game playing as well. I did not think that was as destructive but the counselor does. We have some homework to do before we go back next week, lets hope and pray that he will actually do it and move forward. I am a little stronger now that we went to counseling, the counselor made me feel like it is okay to feel like I am feeling. Whatever happens I can be strong and know that I did everything I possible could to fix this marriage.

as far as eating, this is the best diet in the world, I can't even think of food. :lb12:

((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))

5% is better than no percent. And yes, at least you will have no regrets that YOU tried!

[julieburns]

Heidi:

Satan is evil and he is trying to draw you away from God any way he can. He is attacking the most precious thing you have right now and it won't be his last attempt either. I ask you what my pastor asked me last week..."Do you believe in God and his mighty power?, Will you be faithful to Him throughout this tragedy?. If you truly believe then you will know that God will carry youo through this. He already knows the end result. It is through your faithfulness to him that you will ward off evil. So here's a few scriptures I have been using during my difficult time...

Matthew 6:25... Therefore I tell you , do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes?

Psalm 50:15..."And call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.

Psalm 55:22-23... Cast your cares on the LOrd and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. But you, O God, will bring down the wicked into the pit of corruption; bloodthirsty and deceitful men will not live out half their days.

John 14:27..."Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 16:33..."I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I Peter 5:7,8,9.... Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion loooking for somebody to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of suffering.

Read Ephesians 6:10-18 for the verses talking about the Armor of God. here's a snipit...Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to this take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Matthew 6:14-15...For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your father will not forgive you your sins.

I think forgiveness is the hardest thing going through what you described. I know I've been there too. Lost my 1st husband from both of our neglect but his alcoholism was the kicker for me. I also rebelled and it did me no good but to dig me deeper into Satans snare. Heidi I will pray for you and I thank you for being here on the forum. Hang in there and one more favorite"Draw near to him and he will Draw near to you"(James 4:8)

XOXOXOXOXO

I lied I have 1 more favorite...I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...!!

[tlag]

My thoughts are with you Heide. I hope all works out for the best. No matter what happens, you need to remember, you did all you can do, the rest is in God's hands. Keep your chin up.

[fat2nrml]

You're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope things turn out the way you want and need them to. Best wishes, Darlene

[Dontondan]

I feel so badly for you. To have to go through this. Sometimes it is best to cut the strings and start fresh.....I have been through one bad marriage and one that is 26 years strong. I thought my world was over after being so hurt with my first marriage and vowed to never rely on a man again! I found the love of my life 6 mos. after my divorce and have never looked back. We remarried for our 25th year anniversary and will probably do it again for our 50th!!! Stay strong and keep your friends and family close.

[doinitagann]

Heidi:

Satan is evil and he is trying to draw you away from God any way he can. He is attacking the most precious thing you have right now and it won't be his last attempt either. I ask you what my pastor asked me last week..."Do you believe in God and his mighty power?, Will you be faithful to Him throughout this tragedy?. If you truly believe then you will know that God will carry youo through this. He already knows the end result. It is through your faithfulness to him that you will ward off evil. So here's a few scriptures I have been using during my difficult time...

Matthew 6:25... Therefore I tell you , do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes?

Psalm 50:15..."And call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.

Psalm 55:22-23... Cast your cares on the LOrd and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. But you, O God, will bring down the wicked into the pit of corruption; bloodthirsty and deceitful men will not live out half their days.

John 14:27..."Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 16:33..."I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I Peter 5:7,8,9.... Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion loooking for somebody to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of suffering.

Read Ephesians 6:10-18 for the verses talking about the Armor of God. here's a snipit...Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to this take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Matthew 6:14-15...For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your father will not forgive you your sins.

I think forgiveness is the hardest thing going through what you described. I know I've been there too. Lost my 1st husband from both of our neglect but his alcoholism was the kicker for me. I also rebelled and it did me no good but to dig me deeper into Satans snare. Heidi I will pray for you and I thank you for being here on the forum. Hang in there and one more favorite"Draw near to him and he will Draw near to you"(James 4:8)

XOXOXOXOXO

I lied I have 1 more favorite...I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...!!

Thanks Julie,

I love these verses, it is great to be reminded of them. I have copied them down and plan to memorize them so they can be my anthem. I read your other post where you said you lost 5 pounds in 10 days. I am right there with you again. I can't even think of food and have dropped a few extra "unplanned" pounds myself. I forced myself last night at 10pm to take my first bite of food for the day, (cottage cheese). It was in one of the Psalms where David also said his heartache was so great, he forgot to eat. If it happened to him, I guess we can both get through this difficult time in our lives. "this too shall pass"

[julieburns]

Thanks Julie,

I love these verses, it is great to be reminded of them. I have copied them down and plan to memorize them so they can be my anthem. I read your other post where you said you lost 5 pounds in 10 days. I am right there with you again. I can't even think of food and have dropped a few extra "unplanned" pounds myself. I forced myself last night at 10pm to take my first bite of food for the day, (cottage cheese). It was in one of the Psalms where David also said his heartache was so great, he forgot to eat. If it happened to him, I guess we can both get through this difficult time in our lives. "this too shall pass"

Thank you Heidi for reminding me of the David psalm. I am glad I could help lift you up.. That's what we're all here for.

[jena]

First of all, THANK YOU to all that replied and prayed, it means so much.

Well, let me give you a little update on the appt. The counselor believes our sort of relationship has about a 5% chance of surviving. He says this because only one of us will actually make any action toward healing. I have found out my husbands drinking and gambling has gotten much worse since I left. Add these things to the fact that the counselor is fearful of his video game playing as well. I did not think that was as destructive but the counselor does. We have some homework to do before we go back next week, lets hope and pray that he will actually do it and move forward. I am a little stronger now that we went to counseling, the counselor made me feel like it is okay to feel like I am feeling. Whatever happens I can be strong and know that I did everything I possible could to fix this marriage.

as far as eating, this is the best diet in the world, I can't even think of food. :lb12:

Let me speak to you as one who has walked in your shoes. Twice.

Your husband has a serious illness, and you are a contributing part of that illness. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean you don't love him. I know you must love him very much to be willing to work on the marriage after his betrayal.

You have to love him enough to let him live his own life and let him go with love in your heart. He has made his choice right now. Two important things to learn and take to heart; the only one you can change is YOU and people treat you the way you let them treat you.

Make a list of the conditions by which you will let him back into your life - and there will come a time when he will realize his mistakes. At your next session with the counselor, make this list very clear to him, but be careful. You have to be able to stick to your guns.

Make up your mind to get on with your life. You HAVE to do this. Then get on with your life, a life that doesn't include him. When he is ready, he will contact you, and hopefully you will make him PROVE that he is worthy of you.

If this happens before you have found love again, good for both of you. If it happens after you have found new love, too bad for him. This is what happened to me and my Husband. By the time he had come to his senses, I no longer wanted or needed him. I still cared for him, but I didn't love him any more.

The second time (the guy and I weren't married but we were living together) it took over a year before he reached out to me. I honestly thought he would kill himself when I threw him out of the house, but he picked himself right back up and found somewhere to live and got a job.

By the time he contacted me my head had cleared. I realized that for my own self respect I can never be involved with an alcoholic or anyone who is addicted. We are now friends, but he is still drinking and using drugs. I've set limits on our friendship, like no "drunk phone calls". I hung up on him the first time and he's never done it again.

Sorry about the rambling! Hugs to you and lots of prayers.

jena

[JazzyJude]

Jena ~ nice post and thanks for sharing...all so true. Been there with my first husband with spousal abuse.

Long story, but towards the end of our 'relationship', I didn't know who I was anymore and 'woke up' one morning wanting my own self back! I finally made a decision and kicked him out. Like you, he kept coming back - NO WAY! I felt alone but I was a HAPPY loner and vowed NO ONE was going to treat me like he did...and NO man will disrespect me for who I am. He will need to prove to me he is worthly to be in my life, as I would be to his. Being together means to work with each other as a team.

Sorry for babbling on but things progressed and, of course, I became a self reliant person. And now, I am growing with you all with my new band life!

Thanks for listening to me...

[mona-camille]

Let me speak to you as one who has walked in your shoes. Twice.

Your husband has a serious illness, and you are a contributing part of that illness. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean you don't love him. I know you must love him very much to be willing to work on the marriage after his betrayal.

You have to love him enough to let him live his own life and let him go with love in your heart. He has made his choice right now. Two important things to learn and take to heart; the only one you can change is YOU and people treat you the way you let them treat you.

Make a list of the conditions by which you will let him back into your life - and there will come a time when he will realize his mistakes. At your next session with the counselor, make this list very clear to him, but be careful. You have to be able to stick to your guns.

Make up your mind to get on with your life. You HAVE to do this. Then get on with your life, a life that doesn't include him. When he is ready, he will contact you, and hopefully you will make him PROVE that he is worthy of you.

If this happens before you have found love again, good for both of you. If it happens after you have found new love, too bad for him. This is what happened to me and my Husband. By the time he had come to his senses, I no longer wanted or needed him. I still cared for him, but I didn't love him any more.

The second time (the guy and I weren't married but we were living together) it took over a year before he reached out to me. I honestly thought he would kill himself when I threw him out of the house, but he picked himself right back up and found somewhere to live and got a job.

By the time he contacted me my head had cleared. I realized that for my own self respect I can never be involved with an alcoholic or anyone who is addicted. We are now friends, but he is still drinking and using drugs. I've set limits on our friendship, like no "drunk phone calls". I hung up on him the first time and he's never done it again.

Sorry about the rambling! Hugs to you and lots of prayers.

jena

HEY, where have you been girl, I missed you!!!!