Trav Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 Weight loss/gain always presents problems... I had my first date since my surgery, and it kinda pissed me off. We got along really well over the phone, but I got that "I'm sorry there was just no chemistry" bs answer, (translation: you're just too fat to be attracted to)..."but you're a really fun guy"...that's really the only thing it could be, because we talked until they kicked us out of the restaurant...but yeah...that really stung. Someone you go out with once, and then don't know you..."sorry, but no." Maybe I'm just bitter, but I really don't have room in my life for vain people who would date me, but would be ashamed to have me around people they know. But then at work today, a girl i went to gradeschool with was like, "Wow, you really are losing weight." and I go "Why? Am I gettin' kinda hot now?" and chuckled, "Well, yeah.."...so that made me feel a lil' better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaGreen Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 Trav, unfortunately, people are vain and to me, that is one of the UGLIEST traits in a person. Now on the other note, NICE!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nothereanymore Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 Trav, I'm sorry about that. One of my dearest friends who normally is a size 8, beautiful sweet young woman who helped me through my weight loss has put on a lot of weight due to medication she has to take (She's had to double the size she wears). Its so sad to see people see and treat her differently, and I think she’s just as beautiful now as she was when she was small. Her beauty really comes from the inside, so Trav, look for the girl with the beauty on the inside, and if she has some weight to loose, have her join you in your quest. You never know what a girl is going to look like when she looses the weight, you might end up with the most beautiful girl around. Best, Lisa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CaraMBA09 Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 Weight loss/gain always presents problems...I had my first date since my surgery, and it kinda pissed me off. We got along really well over the phone, but I got that "I'm sorry there was just no chemistry" bs answer, (translation: you're just too fat to be attracted to)..."but you're a really fun guy"...that's really the only thing it could be, because we talked until they kicked us out of the restaurant...but yeah...that really stung. Someone you go out with once, and then don't know you..."sorry, but no." Maybe I'm just bitter, but I really don't have room in my life for vain people who would date me, but would be ashamed to have me around people they know. But then at work today, a girl i went to gradeschool with was like, "Wow, you really are losing weight." and I go "Why? Am I gettin' kinda hot now?" and chuckled, "Well, yeah.."...so that made me feel a lil' better. Well Trav, screw her. I think you are a cutie pie and have an awesome personality. The right chickie poo will come along and sweep you off your feet. oodles tootles, C Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsParris Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 Travis I so agree with Cara. It won't be long before you meet someone who will appreciate you. Kimberly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ckiki Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 I hate when this happens to people, it makes me so angry. It happened to me about 4 weeks ago. I met a guy from eHarmony. The only picture I had on there was of my face, so the guy thought I had a pretty face, we talked on the phone and on online for about 2 weeks before we met. He loved my personality, but as soon as we met, I just knew he didn't like the rest of me. We went to dinner, and then he ended up ditching me at the movies, saying he would be right back because he had to "use the restroom". What a jerk, I can't believe that he had such a problem with me being a bigger girl, that he couldn't sit through a 1 1/2 hr movie with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonogirl Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 I hate when this happens to people, it makes me so angry. It happened to me about 4 weeks ago. I met a guy from eHarmony. The only picture I had on there was of my face, so the guy thought I had a pretty face, we talked on the phone and on online for about 2 weeks before we met. He loved my personality, but as soon as we met, I just knew he didn't like the rest of me. We went to dinner, and then he ended up ditching me at the movies, saying he would be right back because he had to "use the restroom". What a jerk, I can't believe that he had such a problem with me being a bigger girl, that he couldn't sit through a 1 1/2 hr movie with me. You should look him up after you lose all your weight and show him what he missed out on! That kind of guy is not worth it anyway- and you do have a very pretty face, soon the body to go with it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nothereanymore Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 She's right, you are so beautiful now, and I can just imagine what you're going to look like when you reach your goals. You are going to be a knock out!! Know that and keep working to reach your goals, its going to happen before long and you’re going to have the guys lining up at your door to go out with you!! So don’t let it get you down, and remember he’s just an immature dumb guy who isn’t smart enough to know when he’s got a beautiful intelligent woman at his side. There are men out there who will know it and love you no matter what your weight is, those are the one's you want to find. I like mine best because he loved me when I was big, and he loves me when I'm thin. He just loves me - and I can promise you this, that guy is out there looken for you and you’ll find each other when its meant to be! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnm75 Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 Ugh... I really hate rude people. I know with my work, when I'm bringing in a presenter or consultant or such and spend hours on the phone in negotiations... whether male or female, once we meet face-to-face I can always see the look of OHMYGOODNESSYOUAREHUGE on their faces. I get that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and want to crawl into a hole and hide and die. Sighs. Why can't people accept each other for who they are in the right-now-present-moment. Big people have feelings too. And, I sometimes wonder if those judgmental people have the capacity to truly understand that. Kristy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SValentino Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 Ugh... I really hate rude people. I know with my work, when I'm bringing in a presenter or consultant or such and spend hours on the phone in negotiations... whether male or female, once we meet face-to-face I can always see the look of OHMYGOODNESSYOUAREHUGE on their faces. I get that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and want to crawl into a hole and hide and die. Sighs. Why can't people accept each other for who they are in the right-now-present-moment. Big people have feelings too. And, I sometimes wonder if those judgmental people have the capacity to truly understand that.Kristy I think you hit on it right there. The shallow people just do not have the capacity to understand. They don't want to because they don't have to. So let them wallow in their narrow-minded, ignorant selves. Those of us who have spent a lot of time on the receiving end of hurtful remarks and actions can be thankful that we do have an enormous capacity to accept everyone as they are. What a blessing that is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jena Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 Looks like I'm going to be the dissenting opinion here. Oh, not that Trav isn't looking good, but that just because someone says there is "no chemistry" means they are not attracted because the other person is fat or not the right height or not the right color or whatever and that makes them shallow or a jerk is not true. Speaking as a fat girl, I have my own set of physical things I like in a man. 30-40 years old, taller than me, normal weight. I have standards too. Smart, makes at least as much money as me, nice car, nice home, no children or grown children, no smoking, light drinking, not a Democrat, preferably Libertarian, believes in God, at least as much education as me, loves cats and big dogs. Am I a snob? No, I have learned from experience what I like and what is best for me. Could I fall in love with someone with NONE of these qualities? Of course. EVERYONE has what they like and what they don't like. I can have fun all night with a guy and there not be any chemistry and I don't care if I see him again, especially if I know he's looking for a relationship and I'm not. What I'm trying to say is we all have the things we prefer in a mate, but if someone has all of those things, unless there is that chemistry, it just ain't gonna get off the ground. My friend Shawn who is lovely has met quite a few guys on a couple of the online sites and she's never had a relationship with one of them! She's rejected some and and some have rejected her. Don't automatically assume it's anything wrong with YOU. It happens to skinny people too. It happens to beautiful people too. Things won't change when you lose weight. You just have to keep on meeting people and taking a chance. It will click and when it does, you'll be glad the others went by the wayside! The BIGGEST lesson to learn is that a phone "romance" is not a romance at all. It's the whole package, not just the phone personality. As for the guy that never came back...UN-FREAKING-BELIEVEABLE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CaraMBA09 Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 HOley Guacamole...you hit it.. You are such a dude...I am leaving so I am glad you are gaining such "wisdom" from chicks who used to care. ,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trav Posted November 26, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 Looks like I'm going to be the dissenting opinion here. Oh, not that Trav isn't looking good, but that just because someone says there is "no chemistry" means they are not attracted because the other person is fat or not the right height or not the right color or whatever and that makes them shallow or a jerk is not true. Speaking as a fat girl, I have my own set of physical things I like in a man. 30-40 years old, taller than me, normal weight. I have standards too. Smart, makes at least as much money as me, nice car, nice home, no children or grown children, no smoking, light drinking, not a Democrat, preferably Libertarian, believes in God, at least as much education as me, loves cats and big dogs. Am I a snob? No, I have learned from experience what I like and what is best for me. Could I fall in love with someone with NONE of these qualities? Of course. EVERYONE has what they like and what they don't like. I can have fun all night with a guy and there not be any chemistry and I don't care if I see him again, especially if I know he's looking for a relationship and I'm not. What I'm trying to say is we all have the things we prefer in a mate, but if someone has all of those things, unless there is that chemistry, it just ain't gonna get off the ground. My friend Shawn who is lovely has met quite a few guys on a couple of the online sites and she's never had a relationship with one of them! She's rejected some and and some have rejected her. Don't automatically assume it's anything wrong with YOU. It happens to skinny people too. It happens to beautiful people too. Things won't change when you lose weight. You just have to keep on meeting people and taking a chance. It will click and when it does, you'll be glad the others went by the wayside! The BIGGEST lesson to learn is that a phone "romance" is not a romance at all. It's the whole package, not just the phone personality. As for the guy that never came back...UN-FREAKING-BELIEVEABLE! all things being equal, I'd agree with you, but when you "meet all the expectations" save the one unknown...yeah, trust me, it was the weight. Funny thing is, she wasn't even the type of girl I usually go after, she was cute, but in that un-prom queen kinda way. Most of the girls I date are usually pretty striking in some regard or another, (not that I plan it that way, it just happens that way.)..but she was really cool and funny, and to me a personality is much more important. It's just really depressing when you lower the bar a lil' and you still get shut down haha. Apparently when you lower the bar, you also lower everything else. I stick by my original evaluation, she's a shallow jerk. Funny thing is, I know someone who does groove on me for me, the downside is, she's married haha. (that's a whole other can o' worms) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelaAnn Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 Weight loss/gain always presents problems...I had my first date since my surgery, and it kinda pissed me off. We got along really well over the phone, but I got that "I'm sorry there was just no chemistry" bs answer, (translation: you're just too fat to be attracted to)..."but you're a really fun guy"...that's really the only thing it could be, because we talked until they kicked us out of the restaurant...but yeah...that really stung. Someone you go out with once, and then don't know you..."sorry, but no." Maybe I'm just bitter, but I really don't have room in my life for vain people who would date me, but would be ashamed to have me around people they know. But then at work today, a girl i went to gradeschool with was like, "Wow, you really are losing weight." and I go "Why? Am I gettin' kinda hot now?" and chuckled, "Well, yeah.."...so that made me feel a lil' better. I was just in your boat on Saturday! Almost exactly the same story, too! Crazy...and for the record, I still think you're pretty damn hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nothereanymore Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 Well then...... let me introduct you two, Trav meet AngelaAnn - Angela Ann meet Trav! (You're both damb hot)! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelaAnn Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 I hate when this happens to people, it makes me so angry. It happened to me about 4 weeks ago. I met a guy from eHarmony. The only picture I had on there was of my face, so the guy thought I had a pretty face, we talked on the phone and on online for about 2 weeks before we met. He loved my personality, but as soon as we met, I just knew he didn't like the rest of me. We went to dinner, and then he ended up ditching me at the movies, saying he would be right back because he had to "use the restroom". What a jerk, I can't believe that he had such a problem with me being a bigger girl, that he couldn't sit through a 1 1/2 hr movie with me. Bwhaha! Sorry, I don't negate your pain, but this happened to me to...from someone on eHarmony! I thought that site was supposed to be "better". The guy was so cool...but I knew when I met him that he couldn't get past my big ass. And he ditched me, too. Maybe it was the same guy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cujo Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 Well then...... let me introduct you two, Trav meet AngelaAnn - Angela Ann meet Trav!(You're both damb hot)! Hey Trav, I think you are due for a fill in TJ. Maybe you kids could meet up while you're there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trav Posted November 28, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 Hey Trav, I think you are due for a fill in TJ. Maybe you kids could meet up while you're there. in regards to getting a fill, while according to the 'schedule' I'm due, but I'm not going until January. I've got just enough restriction to keep from eating like crazy, actually I'm eating less than 1/3 my 'normal' consumption, which Gaby said to use that as a guideline one when's a good time to go. Still though, as it stands, I'm happy...instead of eating enough for 3 people, I'm eating a sensible meal for one, and I'm pleased with that. I'm going to enjoy it. For so long, I just wanted to eat like normal people, instead of "that guy that can eat a whole pizza and a half."..(I hold a pizza eating record that has been unbroken for 20 years....if that gives you any clue). ...I appreciate you guys tryin' to play match-maker...but how do you know we're not already talking? ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlgpdx Posted November 28, 2008 Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 ...I appreciate you guys tryin' to play match-maker...but how do you know we're not already talking? ;-) ohhhhh... I love a good mystery! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trav Posted November 28, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 ...I appreciate you guys tryin' to play match-maker...but how do you know we're not already talking? ;-) ohhhhh... I love a good mystery! lol, I didn't say we were, I didn't say we weren't. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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