Telling people that you're getting banded.

[tnm75]

How did everyone decide who to tell? When to tell? I told two of my sisters after I scheduled my surgery. I then told my supervisor, and one of the girls that I supervise. I didn't want to tell my parents (they are older; 74 and 76), but the more I thought about it I knew that I should tell them before I fly to Mexico. My mom is a blabber mouth and I made her pinky swear to not tell my other siblings, etc. It's not that I'm embarrassed... I guess I feel like it isn't anyones business. Or... maybe I'm scared of failing another attempt at losing weight. I lost 115 pounds about 8 years ago and I still get the comment, "You looked really great when you lost all of that weight? How could you let it come back?"

Kristy

[nothereanymore]

At first I didn't tell many, but once the pounds start dropping off and people start really asking about how I was doing it, I just made up my mind that I was going to be honest. I had someone tell me and if they hadn't I have no clue where I'd be right now. So I felt I owed it to people to "Play it forward" but I totally get how its hard at first. Its just so private and you're also afraid if its even going to work or not (it will).

What ever you decide is up to you, and what makes you most comfortable.

Best,

Lisa

[SValentino]

i decided not to tell anyone. then i told my three closest friends. i knew they would support my decision. and they did. you are righjt. it's no one's business really. if people are curious about your weight loss, then you can be as straighforward as you want. remember that you need support, not judgment. i was 100% fine with my decision and would do it all over in a heartbeat, i'm only three weeks post-op. this is your life, your decision. you are very loved and supported here.

[karenlynn79]

It's been over 2 years for me (and had a baby since) and only my husband knows (and docs of course). I have debated telling my mom but I think she'd be upset. Not sure if I'll ever tell....... The only person who has ever been suspicious is my neighbor actually!

[CindyLou]

I told anyone who asked why I was taking two weeks off work, which turned out to be most everyone I know.....lol.

I'm not known to take much time from work.

I've had mixed responses, but anyone who "started in" on why I shouldn't I said, "I'm not open to opinions at this point!" And I had no problems from friends, family or coworker from that response!

[BandDiva]

I have pretty much told everyone & if they don't like it, they can bite me, because I didn't do it for them or to seek their approval.

[ckiki]

I have told a few of my closest friends, my daughter, and my parents. As much as I want to tell the rest of my family, part of me wants to keep it a secret, because some of them will be very judgmental, especially about going to Mexico, but the other reason is, I want them to see me after a few months time, and be surprised at how much I have lost (hopefully) lol. However, I am so excited about having this done, that I want to tell everyone, it's so hard not to!!

[tnm75]

Thanks for the replies. I think I'll take it day-by-day for now.

Hey... CindyLou, you said that you have taken two weeks off of week. Physically, do you feel that you'll need that much time to recover? I didn't really think this part through. I fly in on a Wednesday, home on a Saturday and was planning on going back to work on Monday. Uhm, perhaps I need to reconsider?

Kristy

[CindyLou]

I could have gone back to work on Monday if I had to, but I tell ya, I really wasn't ready. Now, don't get me wrong, I feel energetic and don't feel tired, I just have had all the gassy bathroom issues that would not have worked out too good.

Plus I had to travel to Florida for my dad's neck surgery a few days before my lap band. Then now it time for TGholiday, so i just decided to be selfish and take the whole two weeks. I'm glad I did.

[tnm75]

Ahhhhh... love vacations! Thanks for the information. I don't want to push myself... but, I never really considered if I'd need a little time after surgery.

Kristy

[Guest erinmohr]

I could have gone back to work on Monday if I had to, but I tell ya, I really wasn't ready. Now, don't get me wrong, I feel energetic and don't feel tired, I just have had all the gassy bathroom issues that would not have worked out too good.

Plus I had to travel to Florida for my dad's neck surgery a few days before my lap band. Then now it time for TGholiday, so i just decided to be selfish and take the whole two weeks. I'm glad I did.

I told my immediate family and asked them not to tell anyone. Of course my mom told my aunt, and my dad let if slip that i was in the mexico to my grandma so she now knows. I told 2 close friends. That was more then i wanted to know. I got a "good luck with that" from one friend. Everyone else is proud and excited for me.

Then my first day back at work i was throwing up in the bathroom non-stop and the bathroom is in our small-open-concept-office and i knew they could hear me (it was NOT pretty) so i finally fessed up. To my suprise they are really supportive and curious. I do not regret telling them at all.

My therapist, physciatrist and family doctor also know and are all supportive.

[ValleyGirl]

I told my immediate family and asked them not to tell anyone. Of course my mom told my aunt, and my dad let if slip that i was in the mexico to my grandma so she now knows. I told 2 close friends. That was more then i wanted to know. I got a "good luck with that" from one friend. Everyone else is proud and excited for me.

Then my first day back at work i was throwing up in the bathroom non-stop and the bathroom is in our small-open-concept-office and i knew they could hear me (it was NOT pretty) so i finally fessed up. To my suprise they are really supportive and curious. I do not regret telling them at all.

My therapist, physciatrist and family doctor also know and are all supportive.

I'm no expert (I don't even get banded until next week) but I don't think you should be throwing up non-stop. From what I have read, that can destroy your band. Any more experienced bandsters want to shed some light on that?. I hope you feel better now.

[Trav]

I've found that people are generally accepting and supportive. I've been working in an auto parts store till I found something better, and even the customers are curious. I've had about 9 people that wanted more information, and a couple that have opened a savings account to start saving to have theirs done by Dr. O.

Also, that's a pretty reasonable time to go back to work. I could've went back the day I got home.

[jhawkchick75]

Love it Dana! If they don't like it screw them!

My parents know - my mom went and blabbed to everyone on her side of the family and so they all know, but have all been positive so far. Only my dad and stepmom and brother know on the other side. Dad and I got into a huge fight about it at first, but he's on board now. He's never understood my weight struggles - he just thinks you stop eating so much and that it is fixed. Told very few friends - just a few that I knew would be supportive and then a couple of co-workers b/c with the whole no lifting thing they would have to know so they could help me. Some students know I had surgery but not specificially what it was. You need to just trust your judgement and tell the folks that you know will be supportive. Once I start losing and people ask, i'm not going to lie i'll tell the truth, but once the results are showing it seems a lot harder for people to judge!

[Trav]

oh, and there've been many times that I've whipped up my shirt and shown people the scars haha. "Yup that's all there is to it"

"Oh that's not so bad."

It really puts people at ease.

[MrsParris]

I am a teacher, so obviously when I took 7 days off people wanted to know why. I told most of my co-workers the truth. They were supportive, because they have seen me for so many years dieting, so they know I have struggled with this issue. I told my students I was having a hernia repaired in my stomach.

I planned my surgery strategically, so that part of my recovery time would fall during the Thanksgiving Holidays. I got 2 weeks off, but only used 7 sick days.

I too could have went back to work Monday, but I am so glad I took the 2 extra days. My whole restroom routine is messed up. I am so off schedule and needing to "go" has hit at some very inconvient times. I am hoping all that will straighten out by Monday. I have students that must be supervised at all times, so I really can't just up and go to the restroom without asking a co-worker to watch my class. If you have a job with a lot of flexibility in that dept. you should be fine.

Kimberly

[ckiki]

Dad and I got into a huge fight about it at first, but he's on board now. He's never understood my weight struggles - he just thinks you stop eating so much and that it is fixed.

That's how my Dad is, he even told me I was taking the easy way out. He has no idea. He seems to be supportive now.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I told my regular doctor while seeing him for something else. He mentioned my BMI and I told him I was having Lapband Surgery. He was very happy for me, and said that that surgery has saved many lives. He was very supportive. When I told him I was going to Mexico, the only think he asked was, how much it cost, and then tried to mention maybe Kaiser could do it, and I told him I wasn't going to wait a year for them to do it.

[tnm75]

Had the SAME EXACT experience with my doctor about a week ago!!! She ran all sorts of tests to "find something wrong" in hopes that my insurance would agree to pay for my surgery. All of my blood work came back perfect. She supports me, but just said... "If you get down there and have a bad feeling, you can leave without having the surgery." I thanked her for her advice.

Kristy

[determination]

I too am a little nervous. Not about the surgery, but about seeing my doctor. I have an appointment with him on 12/09. I know he'll be supportive. It is just when he asks me where, is when there will probably silence.

[jhawkchick75]

It was funny, once my mom talked to him not only was he supportive, but he offered to front me the money for it and i'm paying him back! They have been divorced since I was small, but she knows him very well and knows how to get through to him. He still says stupid remarks like "you know, you can't eat that anymore" and things like that, but I just ignore him. He just doesn't get it, but he knows I need it so it was really nice to have his help even if he isn't totally on board. I've had no resistance from anyone so far but him, but if I do my response is going to be "That is fine if you don't support my decision but it is now done and so i'd at least appreciate it if you would now support this process and my health".

For me, I have my yearly at the end of Dec, so i'll make sure and tell my doctor. He's really nice, so I don't see him being anything but supportive, but we will see. If he asks I'll tell him where I did it, but I don't see him having any issues.

That's how my Dad is, he even told me I was taking the easy way out. He has no idea. He seems to be supportive now.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I told my regular doctor while seeing him for something else. He mentioned my BMI and I told him I was having Lapband Surgery. He was very happy for me, and said that that surgery has saved many lives. He was very supportive. When I told him I was going to Mexico, the only think he asked was, how much it cost, and then tried to mention maybe Kaiser could do it, and I told him I wasn't going to wait a year for them to do it.

[Guest erinmohr]

I'm no expert (I don't even get banded until next week) but I don't think you should be throwing up non-stop. From what I have read, that can destroy your band. Any more experienced bandsters want to shed some light on that?. I hope you feel better now.

Oh well it was really only 5-6 times, i got a tylonal stuck...

[nothereanymore]

If you would have slipped you would know it by now - but make sure to keep liquids on hand.

You're good and take care!

Lisa

[louisem]

The first person I discussed the surgery with was my doctor who was great, he referred me to a local surgeon, but the wait and cost was too high. I talked to my best friend and she has been really supportive, but at the same time has challenged me to make sure that I have thought this all the way through. I wasn't going to tell my parents but they have surprised me most. My mom was great. My dad was weird, he has always had a bigger problem with my weight than I do but he was only concerned about the health risks. when I explained that it was different than a gastric bypass he calmed down.

I'm a Psychology student and I work as a research assistance for one of my profs. I told him to let him know I would be unavailable for a few weeks and he also expresses some concerns about the psychological aspects of the operation since you can no longer use food as a coping mechanism and loosing weight can have it's own consequences with regards to relationships and body image. The end result is he is putting me in touch with a colleague of his that specializes in this area!

Overall telling people has been a really positive experience. I think this is mainly because I did my research first and was able to reassure them that I would be OK. It was nice to see everyone's concern for me. They all want to make sure I stay healthy and have the best chance at success.