A Little Support Would Be Nice...

[TGluvsU]

Hi Everybody,

My name is Taylor and have recently scheduled my lap band surgery for March. At that time, I will be 15.

I've been dealing with my weight for about 5 years. It seems like no matter what I do, I gain. I did quick weight loss and weight watchers, but the results were always temporary- never lasting. It seems like I'm always eating healthy, and I'm always watching calories and fat. My problem isn't eating when I'm sad, it seems like the fact that I'm always hungry is making me sad. Shopping isn't fun to me anymore, because I'm never satisfied with the way I look in all the cutest clothes. I've come down to wearing only what's comfortable to wear, and never what I feel absolutely great in.

This is why this surgery is such a big deal to me: I want to finally feel good about myself while I'm still in High School and still young. I thought that my four years would be miserable because I wouldn't be able to even think about getting real help until I was 18. I would (and have offered to my parents ) give up having a car when I'm able to drive, my class trip (to Rome and Greece), and any Christmas presents I may recieve. I want to finally feel great about myself.

I'm in for it, my parents are in for it (they understand, because it's in my genes), and I have a wonderful Aunt who's supporting me. But my main issue is support; mainly my sister and friends. I'm not going to tell my friends because I don't think they'd understand. And I'm ok with that. My sister on the other hand... is a lot less than supportive. On the contrary--she's beyond against it. I think the main problem is that she doesn't understand my struggles (she's adopted, so she doesn't have my family genes... and she's beautiful and skinny). She thinks that the surgery's a waste of money, where it could be used for invisalign for her. (because she doesn't feel like getting regular braces ) I think she's being beyond selfish, but I can't help but want her support in this because I am really scared, but I want this so much!

Now! If you managed to get through my story without falling asleep , I do have a few questions, if anyone would be kind enough to provide answers:

Has anyone dealt with a similar unsupportive family member? Any personal experiences would be helpful...

What are some tips to keep you hopeful, even when you feel like you just can't do it? (for example: during the pre-op )

One of my biggest fears is that the after experience will be like quick weight loss diet but ten times worse. Will this be even harder than dieting?

During post-op, did you ever feel like you were sooo hungry, but just couldn't eat in fear of vomiting or worse problems?

I know that's a lot of stuff to read... but I just want to know everything I possibly can before I have the surgery.

[SValentino]

You are great. I think you have a beautiful spirit and seem really in tune to what you want and need. It's beyond great that you've decided to get banded at 15. At your age, I was obese and it prevented me from participating in life. You have this opportunity to nip it now and save yourself from a lot of torment and misery (at least being fat was more than miserable for me.) I'm a lot older than you are and would have jumped at the opportunity when I was your age if this technology was available back then

It sounds like you have much support, with the exception of your sister. You touched on a really important factor, I think. The genetic component to weight issues. I have that in my family. It's not an excuse as I am the one who stuffed food in my mouth. But the genetic component is nonetheless very real.

The very good news about the band is that you will not feel hungry and a small amount oof food will make you feel full and satisfied. There's going to be a bit of work on your part, especially to retrain your thinking about food and eating. But it is by no means impossible. Some more good news. You will have a much better chance of keeping the weight off. The band will do great things for you.

I am very, very proud of you and the decision you've made. I believe this will be a turning point for you. You're not obligated to tell anyone you don't want to tell about the procedure. It's all about you.

Best of everything to you, darling girl!

[trs893]

Taylor,

Firstly, congratulations on your decision to be banded. It takes a lot of courage, especially at such a young age, to take such a big step in your life.

Just to let you know, I was 14 at the time of my surgery (I'm now 15). It is undoubtedly the BEST thing I've ever done. It's also genetic in my case.

I have only told 2 friends--and I have to admit that I didn't quite get the response I was expecting (I don't think that either really grasped the concept of the Lap Band). I'm sorry to hear that your sister isn't really on your side in this case--but remember: you're doing this for you! There are always gonna be people who totally disagree with weight loss surgery. Plus, you have your parents on your side, to support you right on through.

I know what an amazing thing it is to have the opportunity to change your life while still a teenager. It's worth it, and you can do it--if you try hard.

I wish you luck, and just want to let you know that if you have any questions, you should not hesitate to ask.

Good luck,

--TRS

[determination]

I am so proud of you girls! Wow. Making that huge of a decision at your age. It is so hard to fit in no matter what your age. But I really understand where you are coming from. I just had my surgery on Dec. 15, and now my grandaughter who is 15 wants to have it so much. It does cost a lot of money and a mental attitude that you can work with this. Hats off to TRS893. You have accomplished what a lot of bandsters want to achieve. Know that whatever your age, we have a tool that we can use to help us attain this goal.

[akm]

I'm getting banded in March too ! I'm set for the 23rd, so maybe I'll see ya! So, I'm 26 and I fought ever since I was in 2nd grade with my weight. In high school I would not eat to trim down and I also did a lot of drugs to try to control my weight back then and in my early 20s. After I quit doing drugs, I gained a bunch of weight back and hit 215. I went to the doctor, because I could not stop gaining and he gave me Rx weightloss drugs.

Well, I lost 50 lbs over like 6 months. And I will never forget one coworker telling me I was her hero because I did it with diet and exercise, and didn't take the easy, surgery way out. I reminded her I was also taking Rx speed, but she didn't care because I never got the surgery and in her eyes I was better than people who got surgery.

For a long time I thought like she did; surgery is the easy way out. So I continued to yo-yo, doing it the hard way and every time I hit 220 I went back to the doctor and got my Rx and started the cycle again :negative: . Last summer I realized that I need this surgery. It is not the easy way out and people who say it is are ignorant and, oddly enough, tend to not have severe weight problems.

Your sister may be one of these people. Not to say she is stupid or anything, she just may not know what all is involved in this process and I'd rather have invisalign instead of metal braces, too :pardon: . Maybe she is just being selfish, but maybe she does not understand why you need this.

There are so many people out there who think it's easy to get the surgery. That's why after I lose a few, I plan to tell each person that says "You've lost weight, you look so good," that I got surgery and that they can- well, you know..

Because high school is hard, you don't have to tell anyone, but be prepared for friends to ask why you are only having yoghurt and pudding for two weeks straight! My husband is not obese and he will never truly understand what we are going through. He supports my decision, but I joined this forum to get educated on the procedure and to get extra support from others who know what it's like!

Do what you need to do and to heck with everyone else! :lb16:

[Karleigh]

Yeah, people can be unsupportive. Some of my best friends don't understand why I needed the surgery, and thought I was doing it for the wrong reasons. It comes down to just that: Unsupportive people just can't understand an obese person's struggle to lose weight, and they probably never will. My dad used to be one of those people: "Can't you just control yourself? You just aren't making the right choices. Do you really need that cookie?" However, my mom the nurse demanded that my dad come to the Bariatric seminar required by the hospital doing my surgery, and he finally understood: I could DIE if I didn't get help. Sometimes, people just can't comprehend that your weight is otherwise uncontrollable, and that without this surgery, you are looking at an early grave. In my case, my cholesterol has been really high since I was ten, both of my mother's parents died of weight related issues, and I have a family history of diabetes. Without this surgery, I would have become really sick, and for sure would have died prematurely. Sure, I wouldn't see these effects of my weight for a few years, but my doctors saw it coming.

Next time you meet someone unsupportive, just say, "Hey, I guess I did the surgery because I just didn't want to die young. And come on, why would my doctors recommend such a risky procedure if there was another way we hadn't tried before? Obviously we both decided that I was in dire need of it."