ValleyGirl Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 I'm not sure how many know my story, but I've wanted to get a lap-band for three and a half years . MY husbnad has always been dead-set against this. I remember at one oint he said this was "a hill he was willing to die on". Anyway, eventually,I said, I know you won't let me spend "family money" for this but What if I got a second job and saved the money myself? I don't think He believed I could save it all so said fine. Well, I got the job (s) saved all the money and here I am, banded at OCC yesterday. This is the letter he just wrote me.......sniff sniff "I've never been more proud to be your husband then I am today. You are a very strong lady, who without any support from me set out a goal and achieved it. I believe in my heart you can, more than most people, set a goal for yourself, work very hard and achieve that goal. I always thought you were beautiful regardless of your weight, and whether your appearance changes because of your surgery: - I love you - you are an amazing mom - you are a patient and great wife You did not need this surgery to be beautiful to me. I am proud of you Sabrina, you are a great role model for Syd and Drew." Love, D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinlifedfw Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 OMG that is so sweet!!! You, my dear have a good one!!! Mine, on the other hand haha didnt care..... But Im gonna show him that yes I can do something with my life. I wish you the best of luck!!! And keep in touch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iluvmyboyz Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 Oh my gosh!!! That is truly an inspiring story. Thanks so much for sharing that touching letter with us all. What amazing willpower you have to save the money and do this. I don't even know you and I am so proud of you!!! Wow!!! I know you will do great with the band. I am excited to watch your progress!!! Welcome to bandland!! It's great here and a great place to go to for support. I want to say thanks again for sharing. Loved it!!! Have a great day!!! Natalie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mona-camille Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 WOW! I mean WOW! I bet you are on cloud 9 right now, and rightly so! Good for you! And him. You DO have a keeper there, but I guess you know that now. What a wonderful letter and thank you for sharing it with us. This has made me smile big time! Very very good!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OICU812 Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 Good story and good man. If I weren't a guy and a flaming heterosexual and married, that's the kind of guy I would look for. Congratulations on all you've accomplished so far and hope better even to come. I know I couldn't have done this without the support of my wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ackovach Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 That is such a wonderful story. I am so happy for you!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mona-camille Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 Good story and good man. If I weren't a guy and a flaming heterosexual and married, that's the kind of guy I would look for. Congratulations on all you've accomplished so far and hope better even to come. I know I couldn't have done this without the support of my wife. HAHAHAHAHA you're cute!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vangirl Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 That's awesome! It's great to see he has come around. Hope all is well post-surgery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
determination Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 How beautiful. You have worked so hard for this and what a reward. This will be another growth in your marriage. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JazzyJude Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 Sabrina...this is very touching and so rewarding. It shows you also that your hubby loves you through and through. He will be your first cheerleader from here on in. Also, deep down, I feel he knew you were serious and maybe now he will know how deeply your are focusing on your health. He is a very proud man right now and yes, like Anne says, your marriage will be grow stronger with your strength. Good luck and keep us posted...you've a great ride ahead of you, with your band! WELCOME to Bandland!!! WTG Sabrina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CaraMBA09 Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 I'm not sure how many know my story, but I've wanted to get a lap-band for three and a half years . MY husbnad has always been dead-set against this. I remember at one oint he said this was "a hill he was willing to die on". Anyway, eventually,I said, I know you won't let me spend "family money" for this but What if I got a second job and saved the money myself? I don't think He believed I could save it all so said fine. Well, I got the job (s) saved all the money and here I am, banded at OCC yesterday. This is the letter he just wrote me.......sniff sniff"I've never been more proud to be your husband then I am today. You are a very strong lady, who without any support from me set out a goal and achieved it. I believe in my heart you can, more than most people, set a goal for yourself, work very hard and achieve that goal. I always thought you were beautiful regardless of your weight, and whether your appearance changes because of your surgery: - I love you - you are an amazing mom - you are a patient and great wife You did not need this surgery to be beautiful to me. I am proud of you Sabrina, you are a great role model for Syd and Drew." Love, D I guess I am the only one who does not feel all 'warm and fuzzy' about this. So I will keep MOST of my commentary to myself You are obviously a strong and courageous woman for doing this ON YOUR OWN....with NO support (financially OR emotionally) from your husband. A marriage is supposed to be 50/50...not black and white I find it unfortunate that you had to wait 3 Very Long Years to do this... It sounds like he has the "potential" to wake up and smell the coffee...good luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhondasue Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 I'm not sure how many know my story, but I've wanted to get a lap-band for three and a half years . MY husbnad has always been dead-set against this. I remember at one oint he said this was "a hill he was willing to die on". Anyway, eventually,I said, I know you won't let me spend "family money" for this but What if I got a second job and saved the money myself? I don't think He believed I could save it all so said fine. Well, I got the job (s) saved all the money and here I am, banded at OCC yesterday. This is the letter he just wrote me.......sniff sniff"I've never been more proud to be your husband then I am today. You are a very strong lady, who without any support from me set out a goal and achieved it. I believe in my heart you can, more than most people, set a goal for yourself, work very hard and achieve that goal. I always thought you were beautiful regardless of your weight, and whether your appearance changes because of your surgery: - I love you - you are an amazing mom - you are a patient and great wife You did not need this surgery to be beautiful to me. I am proud of you Sabrina, you are a great role model for Syd and Drew." Love, D Wow Sabrina, I just started bawling when I read that! You are so blessed to have the courage you did and it appears your husband is really just seeing you as the truly complete package.....I would love to get to know you better as we are in the same area. I live between two homes in Coquitlam and Langley. Please keep in touch with me as I am getting banded on Dec 26 and we will be going through some of the same things at a similar time......you before me so you can show me the "ropes" Thanks for sending that beautiful email. Rhonda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormy Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 I think it is very nice that he wrote this. But my question is why did he make you wait. Even though my husband was against it and then came around and got it done too. He would never hold me back from what I really want. Now that he has come around, have you asked him why he would not help you to acheive this? I am just courious.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louisem Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 Sabrina, I am so happy for you. I was a bit concerned when you mentioned before about not being able to use "family money". I think that people show their concern for you in different ways. It's too bad that he withdrew his support as a way of showing concern about the surgery but it looks like he is coming around now Hopefully it will make your recovery easier. How are you feeling otherwise? Louise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tlag Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 AWE that is soo sweet. Sounds like he will be awesome in supporting you and your decision. You worked very hard for this and will make it work. Good JOB. I wish you the best of luck in your venture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christy26 Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 That is really great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrandNewDawn Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 Good for you! Three and a half years is a long time to wait, work and save. You should be proud of yourself for your commitment to your goal. You really showed him how much you wanted this surgery and how hard you were willing to work for it. Keep up that determined attitude and you will do great! Congratulations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C1BandedBabe Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 Aww wee that is so sweet! My husband was not 100% for it either.. But once I explained everything to him and educated him on it he was very supportive and still is today.... Congrats on your band honey you are on your way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhawkchick75 Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 That is really great that he is supporting you now. It's unfortunate that he wasn't on board from the beginning, but at least he's man enough to admit it and support you now. I know my dad was very against it at first and we got into some fights about it, but he's on board now. I think a lot of it was fear and he thought I was using this as a "fix all" and that I didn't think I had to do any work for it. Hopefully he understands now that I don't think that is the case! Now, does he know all the stuff he's going to have to do for you over the next 6 weeks - he might take that back! Just kidding! Hope you are feeling alright!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msdetermine Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 You Go Girl!!! > I don't think I have ever posted here and if I have not enough to remember. I just want to give you a major SHOUT OUT! I was in kind of the same situation with no support group but here I am 2 yrs later in the best health of my life mentally and physically. I actually think I could be a spokes person for the lap band because it has changed my life so much; shoot about 3 people have went through the surgery since I have talked to them. I either did learned a great deal from my public speech class or I drilled it into their heads because when I start talking about it I can't shut up but either way they are pleased with their decision. All of my life I have never had a support system or just somebody to push me to do more with my life. When I had the surgery I had I was on my way alone. I do believe my mom felt guilty so she went with me, although she was still negative but I stood strong like you did. It took getting the lap band surgery for me gain the only support system I have ever needed MYSELF! Some people may look at that statement as being way too dependent on the band but you know it has given me another chance to enjoy life the way it should be. Even with a few minor complications (which I knew how to handle) it is with a shadow of a doubt the best thing I have ever done for myself. It took me 26-27 years of my life to look in the mirror and say you are beautiful and I love you! I don't normally have time to post on this forum because I am always busy with my job or school work. However I am making a vow that I will from now on make time to support my band family and give any encouragement that I can. It is a wonderful feeling talking and helping people learn about the lap band especially those who are still in that tunnel. Thank you so much for putting your post out for me to read, you may just have helped me get to starting a blog "I'm on a MISSION" and I cant think of a better group to help me along my road. I love ya girl, stay strong and focused on your goal (s)!!!! Msdetermine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ValleyGirl Posted December 4, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 Good morning everyone! I was so drugged up when I posted this that I just remembered about it now, haha! I'm glad it touched so many of you and I'm glad I had to wait for this because I got to research SO much. I'm normally way too spontanious and will try anything before knowing all of the consequences. I think that was one of my husband's worries. He didn't want me to come home and say "honey, I just put another 10 grand on the credit card for this thing I read about in a magazine". That and the fact that behind his machismo, I think he was truly scared something bad could happen to me-especially in Mexico. And yes, Cara and Stormy, he can be a bit controlling (it's not all warm and fuzzy) but so can I! We have our struggles as most couples do. Anyway, I am leaving Lucerna this moning to go to La Jolla for a day at the beach and shopping at Westfeild UTC which I hear is a must-do. Have to walk, walk, walk. What better way to get in walking than shopping?! I was actualluy quite hungry yesterday, which surprised me. I drank some broth and water and gatorade and I managed. Today is day three of clear liquids and, to my surprise, I am aloud powdered non-dairy creamer in my coffee so I am enjoying that right now- there's even flavoured kinds of coffee-mate here, vanilla and cinnamon. Yum. I'm also so excited to see so many people from my area on this board. I live between Surrey and Langley, work in Vancouver, and attend lap-band meetings in North Van so I'm all over the place and would love to meet for coffee any time. Maybe there are enough of us to start a second support group since the hospital group is only once per month? I'd like to meet at least once per week if I could! I think Vangirl and Louisem have my email address, but for anybody else ne in the Vancouver area, please email me at sabrinadelray@yahoo.com- that's the only email I can check on my phone. Thanks to ALL of you for making me feel included, understood, and listened to. Sabrina:) You Go Girl!!! > I don't think I have ever posted here and if I have not enough to remember. I just want to give you a major SHOUT OUT! I was in kind of the same situation with no support group but here I am 2 yrs later in the best health of my life mentally and physically. I actually think I could be a spokes person for the lap band because it has changed my life so much; shoot about 3 people have went through the surgery since I have talked to them. I either did learned a great deal from my public speech class or I drilled it into their heads because when I start talking about it I can't shut up but either way they are pleased with their decision. All of my life I have never had a support system or just somebody to push me to do more with my life. When I had the surgery I had I was on my way alone. I do believe my mom felt guilty so she went with me, although she was still negative but I stood strong like you did. It took getting the lap band surgery for me gain the only support system I have ever needed MYSELF! Some people may look at that statement as being way too dependent on the band but you know it has given me another chance to enjoy life the way it should be. Even with a few minor complications (which I knew how to handle) it is with a shadow of a doubt the best thing I have ever done for myself. It took me 26-27 years of my life to look in the mirror and say you are beautiful and I love you! I don't normally have time to post on this forum because I am always busy with my job or school work. However I am making a vow that I will from now on make time to support my band family and give any encouragement that I can. It is a wonderful feeling talking and helping people learn about the lap band especially those who are still in that tunnel. Thank you so much for putting your post out for me to read, you may just have helped me get to starting a blog "I'm on a MISSION" and I cant think of a better group to help me along my road. I love ya girl, stay strong and focused on your goal (s)!!!! Msdetermine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowierocksme Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 I guess I am the only one who does not feel all 'warm and fuzzy' about this. So I will keep MOST of my commentary to myselfYou are obviously a strong and courageous woman for doing this ON YOUR OWN....with NO support (financially OR emotionally) from your husband. A marriage is supposed to be 50/50...not black and white I find it unfortunate that you had to wait 3 Very Long Years to do this... It sounds like he has the "potential" to wake up and smell the coffee...good luck to you. I agree with you! I hope this guy will be right there with bells on when it comes time to pay for a Tummy tuck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
determination Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 It is so encouraging to hear of everyones' success stories and down to earth struggles. Msdetermine, I love your user name. HaHa. I tried for that one! You do have a way with words, continue to use them to encourage those of us who are just beginning the new us. I have eleven days to go. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CaraMBA09 Posted December 5, 2008 Report Share Posted December 5, 2008 Good morning everyone! I was so drugged up when I posted this that I just remembered about it now, haha! I'm glad it touched so many of you and I'm glad I had to wait for this because I got to research SO much. I'm normally way too spontanious and will try anything before knowing all of the consequences. I think that was one of my husband's worries. He didn't want me to come home and say "honey, I just put another 10 grand on the credit card for this thing I read about in a magazine". That and the fact that behind his machismo, I think he was truly scared something bad could happen to me-especially in Mexico. And yes, Cara and Stormy, he can be a bit controlling (it's not all warm and fuzzy) but so can I! We have our struggles as most couples do. Huge congrats to getting this done...now the real challenge begins. Any woman who works a SECOND job which takes away from her children is determined...any man who challenges a woman to take the second job that takes away from her children obviously has something going on...of which will be figured out when you start to REALLY lose the weight and then he has to deal with any self-esteem issues he may have! you may notice as a few of us have...your marriage either becomes stronger (through the husbands constant encouragement) or they become very threatened by the new you and they leave (after GUILTING the hell out of you for "changing") be strong and rock and roll Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salena Posted December 5, 2008 Report Share Posted December 5, 2008 awwwww how sweet!! I'm glad he came around Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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