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did it without his support and......guess what?


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I guess I am the only one who does not feel all 'warm and fuzzy' about this. So I will keep MOST of my commentary to myself

You are obviously a strong and courageous woman for doing this ON YOUR OWN....with NO support (financially OR emotionally) from your husband. A marriage is supposed to be 50/50...not black and white

I find it unfortunate that you had to wait 3 Very Long Years to do this...

It sounds like he has the "potential" to wake up and smell the coffee...good luck to you.

I was thinking the same thing!

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  • 4 months later...

Holy crap that's great, I know this is an old thread but-

Good for you! They eventually come around

I am doing it with NO support what so ever, tho he did buy mine & my friends plane tickets, He just doesn't want me doing this in TJ. And won't even talk to me about this with out fighting, So I just don't discuss it anymore..... I'm just doing what I got to do.........

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Boy, can I realte. Just mentioning the surgery before used to start a fight almost instantly. Nowadays he doesn't mention it much, except to make jokes about my "robot stomach", haha. All the best to you...you don't need to feel alone in this now that you've found us!

Sabrina:)

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I guess I am the only one who does not feel all 'warm and fuzzy' about this. So I will keep MOST of my commentary to myself

You are obviously a strong and courageous woman for doing this ON YOUR OWN....with NO support (financially OR emotionally) from your husband. A marriage is supposed to be 50/50...not black and white

I find it unfortunate that you had to wait 3 Very Long Years to do this...

It sounds like he has the "potential" to wake up and smell the coffee...good luck to you.

You know, I have to agree with Cara. We're all proud that you had the determination to go for it and worked your butt off to do what you wanted to do. I hope the band does it's magic. But the husband's letter,,,, I don't know what his intentions are,, but he could be just trying to cover his butt! He could be the kind of guy that after you lose a bunch of weight and other guys start paying attention to you,, he gets weird, real jealous and then nervous. I hope this isn't the case,, but be on the watch. I'm not trying to imply that this is going to happen,, but guys that take that kind of stand when you said you were wanting to be banded usually don't back down like he did.. I'm hoping he's sincere and has realized your committed. We all wish you the best!

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I agree with Doo. Even though my hubby agreed with me having the band surgery, although it was ultimately my decision, and I've lost a lot of weight thus far, he is happy for me. He does jokes around about losing me to another guy (yeah right) but this is HIS thought and some times he is serious. Men don't beat around the bush, they say it how it is and that's that. But, we have a good relationship with one another and when he sees the 'results' of me losing, it's for BOTH of us.

You just need to communicate with each other. Not to keep peace, but to LIVE and ENJOY your lives TOGETHER! While the women go into details of things, men goes straight to the issue and do it ~ but talking together makes a compromise harmony of things, and he feels he is included with your decision. I include my hubby with everything I do and you know what, it's a good thing with me! I know I need clothes but don't go on a shopping spree...but he 'sees' this and he WANTS to buy my clothes and he brags to others. You understand what I am saying? Your weight loss journey is just yours alone...it's involve with everyone around you.

Just know that you are not alone in this and I wish you the best with your band surgery! First step is admitting you need help and you are getting it!

((HUGS!))...Jazzy!!

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Boy, can I realte. Just mentioning the surgery before used to start a fight almost instantly. Nowadays he doesn't mention it much, except to make jokes about my "robot stomach", haha. All the best to you...you don't need to feel alone in this now that you've found us!

Sabrina:)

Hey Valleygirl,

I'm glad to hear that things have smoothed over at home re: the surgery. In any case, you've lost a whopping 50lbs and should be very proud of yourself. You were already beautiful before the surgery, and hopefully he sees (and is enjoying) how hot you must be now, especially the beauty that comes from feeling good about yourself.

-Vangirl

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Thanks Vangirl....I hope to see you at the next Lions Gate meeting. I was too sick last week and it sounds like you were in Mexico anyway. It's funny, even though I've lost 52 pounds I don't think I look that different. Maybe it's what one of the girls at our meeting once talked about, body dysmorphia, but not that many other people have noticed either. The skin is all still there, it's just loose now instead of filled with fat, lol, so it's hard to tell! Time to hit the gym, I guess.

Sabrina:)

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Hi Sabrina,

Glad to see you are "on the mend" from bronchitis ( YuK!) I remember this original post of yours and somedays really

wish I had let my family know what i have done.

I am so proud of your weight loss, but YES! you should really consider the gym......I am waaaaay behind you in weight loss, but have the skin loose too......the gym is REALLY helping and people ARE noticing more I think because of this......I think we look better when we tone as we go.

Keep up the great! work......and see you at the gym......hint hint......

Rhonda

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Thanks Vangirl....I hope to see you at the next Lions Gate meeting. I was too sick last week and it sounds like you were in Mexico anyway. It's funny, even though I've lost 52 pounds I don't think I look that different. Maybe it's what one of the girls at our meeting once talked about, body dysmorphia, but not that many other people have noticed either. The skin is all still there, it's just loose now instead of filled with fat, lol, so it's hard to tell! Time to hit the gym, I guess.

Sabrina:)

OMG, I am going through the same thing! I actually just posted about this topic on the other board. I can see the numbers, my clothes feel different, and even my body feels different, and yet I don't see it in the mirror. It's crazy. And boo to the skin all hanging there! What's up with that?! I wasn't expecting to see that. Ugh.!

I hope I'll see you at the Lions Gate meeting as well!

-vangirl

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Instead of starting another thread hope you don't mind me asking here

How did everyone decide what their target/goal weight would be?

A lot of folks have specific goals, but I don't just yet. I have an initial goal set, but it isn't my final goal. My first is 150, which is the lowest i've been in my adult life. I know I can get lower, but i'm just not sure realistically where I should be. BMI is a joke and there is no way I can hit what they say I should, so we shall see. I figure i'll keep working out and eating right and once i'm to a place I feel comfortable at and can stick with i'll be content. I'm hoping that is around 135, but not sure just yet.

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I picked 160 pounds because I was 150 when I was 13 (and actually had a cute figure) and I figured weighing the same as I did at 13 probably wasn't very realistic! Especially after two huge babies and pushing 40. According to the "doctors charts" I should be 125-140 but I don't see that EVER happening. I must have heavy bones or something, because at 160 I'm pretty small....about a size 8. I know other people that weigh 160 and aren't as small. Weight is weird. Nobody believes I was 256 a few months ago. They knew I was overweight, but thought maybe 200 at best- even my mom! I say go for a healthy BMI and don't worry about the number on the scale.

Sabrina:)

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I picked 160 pounds because I was 150 when I was 13 (and actually had a cute figure) and I figured weighing the same as I did at 13 probably wasn't very realistic! Especially after two huge babies and pushing 40. According to the "doctors charts" I should be 125-140 but I don't see that EVER happening. I must have heavy bones or something, because at 160 I'm pretty small....about a size 8. I know other people that weigh 160 and aren't as small. Weight is weird. Nobody believes I was 256 a few months ago. They knew I was overweight, but thought maybe 200 at best- even my mom! I say go for a healthy BMI and don't worry about the number on the scale.

Sabrina:)

thanks,

I didn't know if the doctors set it for you or it goes by the BMI charts

For me I got married at 130, and always liked myself at 138, that's a great weight you me. But I could settle for 145! Nothing any higher...

So that will me my goal

Gosh I just got the chills with butterflies in my belly thinking 138............ :wub:

shiney

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