The Shoutbox, PMs & Reporting Posts

[jhawkchick75]

It's unfortunate that these steps had to be taken, but unfortunately some people couldn't handle it which really stinks for the larger group. I never used the shoutbox, but did PM a time or two so if we could eventually get that back it would be nice. Sometimes I get emails from folks that don't want to ask the question in public and I have no problem helping where I can.

I agree that when people are upset with a PM it should be reported, but I guess my frustrations lie more in the threads that are public. I feel like there are a lot of things that are posted and I personally find them offensive or wrong but nothing happens, but then some people tell the truth or speak their mind and it gets deleted. Is that something we should be reporting as well? I understand we are all here for support and ideas, but sometimes we need to hear the truth as well even if it might sting a bit. Sometimes I need the truth and don't need to be coddled and quite frankly need a swift kick in the butt. This process is tough that we are going through and it shouldn't be sugar coated. I'm also not going to tiptoe around people who get easily offended. I mean nothing by it, just trying to help and be honest.

Sorry, now i'm rambling....

[snowbird]

well said, Kristy.

one of the other forums contains a thread where this board is discussed, and it is JUST what you said. Several are trashing THIS forum, because of "artbitrary" censorship (I am not passing a judgement, just commenting on their posts) and it DIRECTLY imparts negativism toward OCC and Dr. Ortiz.

We agree that the solutions are simple. Warn, then ban, just as the rules for use state.

What happened before, when snowbird pulled a Queen Fiona on a troll, solved a lot of issues quickly. The troll came in, started a LOT of trouble because several posters were posting LOTS of off-topic posts, and no moderators were adusting the threads (moving off topic posts to the off topic category). No moderator sent this troll any notice that his comments were out of line... until snowbird joined us. The problem took a few days, then the troll appeared a few times in a "fake moustache and glasses" and had to be booted a few more times before he got the message. I hear he resurfaced again, and that HE started the ruckus in the shoutbox. ONE person caused it all to shut down.

And, he is laughing his backside off at the board now, because HE won, thanks to Chad's decisions.

Sorry, Chad, if you feel I am being critical, but... I guess I am being critical of the choice of solution. The shoutbox was added because people wanted a chatroom. A nice feature, but, as people said, tough to enforce rules within it.

The PMs... when I received one from the troll when he threatened to call my BOSS and my family, I sent copies to two moderators, who suggested I ignore him. Sheeesh... Ignore someone who has threatened to try and get me fired?? It showed the lack of strength of the persons in charge. Snowbird was the one who kicked the crap out of the troll - several weeks later, when she got involved.

Will, I think you are confusing me with clynn. I'm not a moderator.

[jhawkchick75]

Was just throwing my thoughts out there. Definitely not trying to start issues. I'm sure that there is a lot that happens "behind the scenes." But, don't judge us for being blind to something(s) that are not shared with us. A lot of us don't have "a history" with the boards. I just call it like I see it... and, the bullies on the playground have won. No biggie, just wishing that the members that go by the rules aren't punished. But, it's obvious that we are and will continue to be.

Kristy

Hey Kristy, total sidebar but I just wanted to say you are doing a great job! You have really embraced this process and I'm sure you will be very successful! You rock girl!! I can tell you mentally and physically understand what this will take and will do great!!

[tnm75]

Kristy, I really, really wish there was a reliable way to accomplish this. The only way we would be able to properly moderate PMs is if we could read them in their original format. That's just not possible. Forwarding nasty PMs to the moderators could help a little but won't work in the long run. Let me explain why...

When you forward a PM to a moderator (or anyone for that matter), you're given the ability to edit the original message to say whatever you like. You could quite easily try to incriminate someone that did nothing wrong and then it becomes nothing more than a game of "he said, she said". There is no possible way for us to see the original conversation. Sad, yes. Also, quite true. I'm not trying to rule with an iron fist here. At this point, I just see no alternative.

Chad,

I gotcha. People never cease to amaze me... I guess what boggles my mind is that two (or more) people can find something to argue about via PM, the shoutout box... or, the forum for that matter. Some people have way too much time on their hands if their sole intent and purpose is to degrade another human being. And, someone that threatens someone's family, job or reputation has major mental issues! Of course there will ALWAYS be different viewpoints... however, it takes mature, stable adults to voice opinions, agree to disagree and move forward. Thanks for explaining things a bit more, it helps... even if I still don't necessarily agree with the solution. I'll just grab my lemonade and sit back, shake my head and watch the bullies at play... must be a fun and interesting life to invest so much energy into messing with others.

Kristy

[Chad]

I feel like there are a lot of things that are posted and I personally find them offensive or wrong but nothing happens, but then some people tell the truth or speak their mind and it gets deleted. Is that something we should be reporting as well?

Yes, definitely. Most of the time when something offensive sneaks through it's only because it was never reported in the first place.

Edit: Also, sometimes it may take us a day or two. We aren't on here 24/7, so when a post is reported give us a little time. Especially over the weekends and late at night.

[tnm75]

Hey Kristy, total sidebar but I just wanted to say you are doing a great job! You have really embraced this process and I'm sure you will be very successful! You rock girl!! I can tell you mentally and physically understand what this will take and will do great!!

Shelby,

I too get PM-s from newbie lurkers that just aren't comfortable coming public right now for one reason or another. Glad to help where I can. My journey has just started, but if my experience will help them then I'm more than happy to share. I'm with you... I'm not going to tiptoe around because someone might be easily offended. If I ask a question, I want an honest answer. If I can't handle the opinions and experiences of others... well then I need to think twice about asking again. Getting this surgery is not for the faint of heart.

As for your sidebar... you're sweet. Thanks! I see that you're kicking butt! Good job!

Kristy

[jhawkchick75]

Yes, definitely. Most of the time when something offensive sneaks through it's only because it was never reported in the first place.

Edit: Also, sometimes it may take us a day or two. We aren't on here 24/7, so when a post is reported give us a little time. Especially over the weekends and late at night.

Thanks Chad! For the most part things really roll off my back, but if something does come up i'll report it. Appreciate it!

[jhawkchick75]

Shelby,

I too get PM-s from newbie lurkers that just aren't comfortable coming public right now for one reason or another. Glad to help where I can. My journey has just started, but if my experience will help them then I'm more than happy to share. I'm with you... I'm not going to tiptoe around because someone might be easily offended. If I ask a question, I want an honest answer. If I can't handle the opinions and experiences of others... well then I need to think twice about asking again. Getting this surgery is not for the faint of heart.

As for your sidebar... you're sweet. Thanks! I see that you're kicking butt! Good job!

Kristy

That is really unfortunate that they don't feel comfortable posting. Even though both of us are newbies in the grand scheme of things, we also are not that far out and remember what it was like. However, like you said this is not for the faint of heart! I try to be supportive, but they are also going to get my honest opinion! Unfortunately some people jump into the band and aren't ready to take the steps necessary to make it work and are already looking for "ways around" and i'm not going to sugar coat any of this. However, I will be supportive and the first to give praise when it's a job well done! But i'm not going to be successful by hearing all the answers I want to hear. As i've said before, this has been both the easiest and hardest thing i've ever done and know that will only be more so as this journey goes on.

And girl, hell you are smoking past me but thanks! I'm trying, but I think my body is needing time to catch up w/ my weight loss. I'm not losing pounds right now, but inches are coming off.

[BrandNewDawn]

One troll/member hasn't caused any of this to take place. This really illustrates how much takes place that most members never see. Currently, a total of 13,383 people have registered as a member of this site since I first installed it. If you look at the bottom of the main index page you can see that there are currently 5,328 registered members. That means I've deleted/banned a total of 8,055 accounts. These accounts were all trolls, spammers and bots. And you think one troll is responsible for this decision? Your one troll may be off somewhere laughing about what they think they've accomplished (which is quite sad, if you think about it). Really, they're just one more number...out of many.

This forum was around for years before our more recent problems started and will be around for many more. We didn't even have moderators on this forum for years. We never needed any. We also didn't have PMs for most of that time. Hmmm, that tells me something.

It doesn't bother me if you're critical of my decisions. I'm fully aware that it's not possible to make everyone happy. I'm also fully aware that out of the 5,000+ members and 2000+ visitors a day, it's only the same small handful that I'm hearing any complaints from.

Will,

I so agree with Chad on this one. This was NOT a one person deal. If you have not been following the forum day in and day out for at least the past 2 months, then you probably missed most of it.

The Shoutbox was being used as a tool, although not everyone on the shoutbox was guilty of this. The PM's, well, I do not get why anyone would tolerate being sent rude or crude messages by another member, essentially a stranger. I would report it immediately and then block that person from sending me any more messages. Some people seem to thrive on engaging in battles with these types of people though. I have seen it on other forums although not to the degree that I have seen it here lately.

I would not want the job of moderating this forum.

I hardly used the PM system and I did not participate in the shoutbox and I will not miss it. If these features cannot be used responsibly by ALL forum members, then I do not blame the moderators for removing them and I fully support any decision that will get this forum back to civility, the sooner the better.

Dawn

[Will T]

Will, I think you are confusing me with clynn. I'm not a moderator.

my apologies... old age does have it's downfall...

It was clynn who straightened out the troll issue.

Aren't the two of you related though? That may be the source of my "oops".

[Will T]

Will,

I so agree with Chad on this one. This was NOT a one person deal. If you have not been following the forum day in and day out for at least the past 2 months, then you probably missed most of it.

The Shoutbox was being used as a tool, although not everyone on the shoutbox was guilty of this. The PM's, well, I do not get why anyone would tolerate being sent rude or crude messages by another member, essentially a stranger. I would report it immediately and then block that person from sending me any more messages. Some people seem to thrive on engaging in battles with these types of people though. I have seen it on other forums although not to the degree that I have seen it here lately.

I would not want the job of moderating this forum.

I hardly used the PM system and I did not participate in the shoutbox and I will not miss it. If these features cannot be used responsibly by ALL forum members, then I do not blame the moderators for removing them and I fully support any decision that will get this forum back to civility, the sooner the better.

Dawn

exactly. I agree with much of what you've said. The issue that started in the shoutbox was from an exiled member, the troll, who had returned at started insulting people and others chimed in, based on several accounts. It then bled over into more mudslinging by the regular members. In essence, it was not the ONE troll, but his presence triggered some of the events. That is the issue I was referencing. There are other issues. I've heard both sides of it, and it is sickening. A long time ago, on a message board far, far away, there lived people who were awesome and supportive of each other, but several of them were seduced by the dark side, and there was no one there to Jedi-kick some forum decorum into them. So, the dark side achieved success.

The decision has been made, and the powers that be feel this is the "group hug - kumbahyah chorus" that we need to move forward. It's his call, and he made it. I dont think the site will wither and fade away, but the last 6 months has surely caused it to lose members, lose supporters, and damaged friendships. That isn't Chad's fault, that posters were acting like children or drama queens/kings, but the avalanche is felt by future bandsters who would've benefitted from experienced ears, eyes, and stomachs.... C'est la vie.

[snowbird]

my apologies... old age does have it's downfall...

It was clynn who straightened out the troll issue.

Aren't the two of you related though? That may be the source of my "oops".

I'm her mommy. I don't mind if you mix us up, although I don't know if she feels the same! However, since I'm seven years older than you are, I don't think we need to start discussing old age. :-)

[stormy]

My only concerns about the PM's is there are people who contact me that dont post in the public section, I think they are nervous. I dont want to lose contact with them. I have sent them a PM in hopes to get their address to continue contact. I was not aware this was leaving until today, I hope they have time to respond.

[Kim2BSlim]

I have to throw my 2 cents in here.

I actively own a message board that I Admin and I have been involved in several message boards over the years. The PM system is PRIVATE. Moderators and Admins are not supposed to be able to see PM's and they also should have no control over what goes on in PM's. If there is a problem with someone PMing you then you should block or ignore them. The Mods and Admins should not have to interfere with something as private as a PM. The PM system SHOULD BE PRIVATE and the mods/admins shouldn't be involved. In other words, if someone is bothering you in a PM..deal with it on your own..don't involve the Mods/Admins unless it is on a public forum.

To take the PM system away is ludicrous. Do you know how many people PM me per week asking for advice? Several. Now they can't do that? That is really, really sad. I am very disappointed in this decision. Yeah I know everyone can't be pleased all the time, however this is a low blow.

As for the Mods here..I am sorry but I rarely see them take an active part in this board. There was a time when both myself and mamamichelle asked to be Moderators on this board and we were both turned down. At that time, we were very active posters with tons of information to share with newly banded members. I believe being a Moderator means taking an active role in this board, learning about the members, watching for trouble, and trying to resolve any issues people have with one another. I have yet to see that be done here.

With the correct amount of staff on this board with the correct amount of dedication this could be a very pleasant board to share our weight loss journey with one another. I have seen this work on boards with way more members than this one..I know it works firsthand! To take away all our special feautures is enough for me to seek another weight loss support group other than this one.

[litlady]

I am one of the newbies who has pretty much been lurking. It takes quite awhile to understand the culture of a board new to me. Some veteran members on boards are offended when a newbie tries to join the conversation -- can you tell I've been burned?! I have sent a number of private messages and actually asked 2 questions. Although I am generally assertive in my real life I do not feel comfortable doing that here.

Thanks to those of you who have responded to my PM; I appreciate the advice you have given me. I am sorry that the PM system is going away.

sue

[nothereanymore]

I am one of the newbies who has pretty much been lurking. It takes quite awhile to understand the culture of a board new to me. Some veteran members on boards are offended when a newbie tries to join the conversation -- can you tell I've been burned?! I have sent a number of private messages and actually asked 2 questions. Although I am generally assertive in my real life I do not feel comfortable doing that here.

Thanks to those of you who have responded to my PM; I appreciate the advice you have given me. I am sorry that the PM system is going away.

sue

Sue, just so you know, I've been on this board for over 2 years, and I've never seen a newbie get burned. We love everyone to join in.

You'll find out the only time we get fired up is if someone is mean or aggressive to someone – and we even try to hold ourselves down from that - the main rule the moderators have is we have to respect each other - now that doesn't mean we can't disagree sometimes - it just means we need to do it with respect.

You're doing awesome - please jump in more!!

Lisa

[Clynn]

I feel I need to clear up a tiny misconception. Just because the moderators aren't posting, doesn't mean we're not involved in the site. I'm on here everyday there's a computer available to me. Mostly I'm reading new posts 2 or 3 times per day. However I don't post everyday or even every other day anymore, partly because I've answered just about every question out there multiple time already, partly because you guys all provide such great answers without me having to get involved, and partly because this has become a job now and not just for fun. I'll still step in if someone's having an urgent problem or if there's a topic in need of a mod's touch. If anyone needs to get in touch with me on a private matter they're more than welcome to email me.

[stormy]

I feel I need to clear up a tiny misconception. Just because the moderators aren't posting, doesn't mean we're not involved in the site. I'm on here everyday there's a computer available to me. Mostly I'm reading new posts 2 or 3 times per day. However I don't post everyday or even every other day anymore, partly because I've answered just about every question out there multiple time already, partly because you guys all provide such great answers without me having to get involved, and partly because this has become a job now and not just for fun. I'll still step in if someone's having an urgent problem or if there's a topic in need of a mod's touch. If anyone needs to get in touch with me on a private matter they're more than welcome to email me.

Without Pm's how exactly would we do that? I dont know anyones email address. Maybe if there was somewhere we could put them, like on our profile. I have not checked to see if there is an option. I will check into that. Thanks

[jhawkchick75]

Sue, just so you know, I've been on this board for over 2 years, and I've never seen a newbie get burned. We love everyone to join in.

You'll find out the only time we get fired up is if someone is mean or aggressive to someone – and we even try to hold ourselves down from that - the main rule the moderators have is we have to respect each other - now that doesn't mean we can't disagree sometimes - it just means we need to do it with respect.

You're doing awesome - please jump in more!!

Lisa

That is really unfortunate that you have felt uncomfortable writing. Please continue to post and if I see it i'll stick up for ya!

The only time I get crabby is when someone asks the same question that was just asked in a previous post - as in literally 2 posts ago or just the day before. But even then I really try to be polite about it. Please post away and no question is a stupid one!

[Clynn]

Without Pm's how exactly would we do that? I dont know anyones email address. Maybe if there was somewhere we could put them, like on our profile. I have not checked to see if there is an option. I will check into that. Thanks

If you go to my profile, or anyone's for that matter, in the lower left hand corner there is an option to send an email. Course the person has to have entered their email into their profile beforehand, which indicates they actually want to be contacted privately.

[Will T]

I believe being a Moderator means taking an active role in this board, learning about the members, watching for trouble, and trying to resolve any issues people have with one another. I have yet to see that be done here.

With the correct amount of staff on this board with the correct amount of dedication this could be a very pleasant board to share our weight loss journey with one another. I have seen this work on boards with way more members than this one..I know it works firsthand! To take away all our special feautures is enough for me to seek another weight loss support group other than this one.

I agree totally Kim. Well said.

[tnm75]

I hear ya Kim!

[tseilhan]

( ( ( ( ( ( ( can someboby please help me fill this out. I do not know how. Ido not want people to think i'm being just nosy.My member id is tseilhan. help! I!m new.

[Clynn]

( ( ( ( ( ( ( can someboby please help me fill this out. I do not know how. Ido not want people to think i'm being just nosy.My member id is tseilhan. help! I!m new.

We're happy to help but you need to be more specific. What exactly are you trying to do?