support ideas for mom

[support4mom]

Hi all.

I am new to this site and looking for suggestions/ideas for my mother.

My mom is having her lap-band surg Friday am. She is 62 and I am so proud of her. We are the best of friends and has been there for me in everything that I have done. Now I want to make sure that I am here for her every step of this journey with her.

Any suggestions or ideas on what I can do, get her, etc to let her know we love her and are so proud of her?

We took before pictures of her before Christmas. I have printed them out and made little signs/cards and posted them on the fridge, her bathroom mirror and bedroom mirror but that is about it.

Thanks so much in advance for your help.

Marcie

[karenlynn79]

Hey Marcie, that is so sweet of you! Your mom will do great. Have you guys taken her measurements? I didn't and I regret it. This forum is awesome, but I do want to mention that on lapbandtalk.com they have subforums for people of certain ages. Maybe people in their 60s have a different take on the surgery, different insights? Might be worth checking out...........

[2mara]

Marcie,

Your mom is going to do wonderfully! It is so great to have a supportive friend / family member!

Thinking back to what helped me several months ago...

1. Help with variety. I know during the clear liquids and soup stage I would sometimes get frustrated about what to eat. My husband was a huge help in brainstorming and stocking up the fridge / pantry. Different types/flavors of protein water, protein shakes, creamy soups.

2. Help with temptation. If there are other people your mom typically cooks for, make sure they are taken care of. There can be some emotional days if you are having to make "normal" food for your family when you don't feel like eating or are still on liquids. Again, my husband was awesome about fending for himself and making sure the children didn't starve.

3. Point out the progress! Like others have suggested, be the buddy that takes monthly measurements and photos. Help reinforce that sometimes your body shows weightloss even when the scale doesn't. If she gets frustrated, reminder her that slow and steady wins the race.

4. Support the closet clean out! Every once in a while, I wake up and nothing in my closet fits. It is nice, but frustrating! (Weird how it seems to happen overnight instead of gradually.) I am a pack rat and probably having a hard time letting go of the bigger clothes emotionally as well. Having a friend that says, "Today let's clean out your closet!" is a huge help! Let her try on things, point out how they are too big and help her let go -- pack it up for Goodwill and take it away!

5. Shopping buddy! After a good closet clean out, you gotta shop! With a new shaped body it helps to have a friend that can go with you to be the logical one (when you are dealing with the emotions of weight). Someone to bring you different sizes... smaller ones!... to the dressing room. Someone to reassure you that yes, you can wear this new size. Someone to help you buy smart -- a few inexpensive pieces that will work well to show off your new body but won't break the wallet when you go shopping again in a couple of weeks!

6. Exercise buddy -- someone to take a walk with is always fun, too!

I know you'll be a great support for your mom. Everyone's journey is different. Ask her what she needs and encourage her to tell you honestly.

Best wishes to both of you!