Psychological issues after banded

[lock27]

Hi Everyone!!

Some of you may know that i am studying to become a licensed forensic psychologist. I have been in both ends of the weight spectrum, meaning that i have always being "normal" weight, then got pregnant and found myself morbidly obese and then now i am "skinny". As a therapist, i psychoanalyze everything meaning that the relationship that i have with other people have changed inmensely and i am always questioning the reasons why. I am happily married with two children. Before i got married i received tons of attention from man and women, however i received even more attention now which creates a lot of confusion and frustration. its frustrating to see man look at a woman like if she has no clothes. its also frustrating because man do not care that i am married. Here is where the temptations come in. I worked with many individuals that have gone through the band and have changed their lives in all aspects. many of them got divorced while others became strippers.

So my question to all you bandster out there, how has the band affected you psychologically? Please understand that i am not trying to do cyber therapy, all i am trying to see if how other people feel and how i can relate to them. Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts since i find myself many times without someone to talk to.

[WormButterfly]

I cant say i know how it is effecting me yet as its not even one week however so far i have subscribed to some more fashionable clothing websites in preparation for the new me. Not that i will wear unattractive or unlady like clothes but I will try to sexy it up in a very modest and ladylike way. As for being a stripper that might take an adventurous person... much more adventurous than me!

You and I have a lot in common education-wise pm me anytime.

[jarvis]

Hi Everyone!!

Some of you may know that i am studying to become a licensed forensic psychologist. I have been in both ends of the weight spectrum, meaning that i have always being "normal" weight, then got pregnant and found myself morbidly obese and then now i am "skinny". As a therapist, i psychoanalyze everything meaning that the relationship that i have with other people have changed inmensely and i am always questioning the reasons why. I am happily married with two children. Before i got married i received tons of attention from man and women, however i received even more attention now which creates a lot of confusion and frustration. its frustrating to see man look at a woman like if she has no clothes. its also frustrating because man do not care that i am married. Here is where the temptations come in. I worked with many individuals that have gone through the band and have changed their lives in all aspects. many of them got divorced while others became strippers.

So my question to all you bandster out there, how has the band affected you psychologically? Please understand that i am not trying to do cyber therapy, all i am trying to see if how other people feel and how i can relate to them. Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts since i find myself many times without someone to talk to.

Even though you say "you are not trying to do cyber therapy"..you are a size 2, why are you on this board? have you had a band? And if not, why are you here asking?

[Dolittle]

Even though you say "you are not trying to do cyber therapy"..you are a size 2, why are you on this board? have you had a band? And if not, why are you here asking?

I can tell you "lock27" is a bandster,, as to why she's asking these questions,, She'll have to answer that. LOL

[tootsie_lou]

I have been back and forth with my weight many times. I'm pretty sure I can tell you that even when thin I never considered be a stripper. My husband has known me both thin and "thick" (24 yrs) and has loved me through it all (even the wacky diets I've done). I almost think he is happy (and relieved) that I'm done with all the craziness of liquid diets, grapefruit diets, etc., and now just eat less at mealtime. The lap-band is the best decision I have made in years!

Diana

[lock27]

Even though you say "you are not trying to do cyber therapy"..you are a size 2, why are you on this board? have you had a band? And if not, why are you here asking?

I was banded on 4/18/08 in Tijuana with doctor martinez and that is why i am on this board. I have a 4cc band with two fills. The band has affected my life in many ways, and i am curious on how it has affected others. It might be too personal for you, and if that is the case you dont have to read this post or write anything at all. Many weight loss programs offer some sort of counseling prior, during and after. I have actually thought about being part of that team but i am not 100 percent sure. Therefore i was wondering about other people since i am dealing with my own issues. I hope this answer your questions.

[Amanda2008]

I've only been banded a few months so the affect on my psyche is not related to significant weight loss.

Prior to the band, I had been a failed yo-yo dieter for 24 of my 32 years, losing and gaining 50-100 lbs every few years. I suffered from "eating disorder not otherwise specified," the clinical term for someone with symptoms of bulimia, anorexia and compulsive overeating but not enough symptoms of any one disorder to be diagnosed specifically with that disorder (i.e. if you binge and purge "only" seven times a month, it does not meet the clinical diagnosis of bulimia which is an average of twice a week). Approximately 90 percent of my emotional energy was devoted to food and weight. I took 80 mg, the max dose, of Prozac each day for depression. I took Ambien because I could not sleep at night. I could not think clearly and was failing in life, jobs and school.

Nearly three months after banding, I no longer need Prozac or Ambien. It has not been easy, but I no longer obsess about food, which gives me energy for my actual life. I am beginning to write a book about my life struggles and recovery. I am excited about my future.

I know I need to make some psychological adjustments as I lose weight, but I don't see any of them truly being a problem, considering what the band has given me.

I wouldn't be where I was without the OCC and my wonderful family who loaned me the money to pay for it.

[lock27]

I've only been banded a few months so the affect on my psyche is not related to significant weight loss.

Prior to the band, I had been a failed yo-yo dieter for 24 of my 32 years, losing and gaining 50-100 lbs every few years. I suffered from "eating disorder not otherwise specified," the clinical term for someone with symptoms of bulimia, anorexia and compulsive overeating but not enough symptoms of any one disorder to be diagnosed specifically with that disorder (i.e. if you binge and purge "only" seven times a month, it does not meet the clinical diagnosis of bulimia which is an average of twice a week). Approximately 90 percent of my emotional energy was devoted to food and weight. I took 80 mg, the max dose, of Prozac each day for depression. I took Ambien because I could not sleep at night. I could not think clearly and was failing in life, jobs and school.

Nearly three months after banding, I no longer need Prozac or Ambien. It has not been easy, but I no longer obsess about food, which gives me energy for my actual life. I am beginning to write a book about my life struggles and recovery. I am excited about my future.

I know I need to make some psychological adjustments as I lose weight, but I don't see any of them truly being a problem, considering what the band has given me.

I wouldn't be where I was without the OCC and my wonderful family who loaned me the money to pay for it.

I am glad to hear that you are in the right path. In this field, eating disorders dont get as much attention as other severe disorders such as bipolar. in the state of illinois finally in the 2009 medical health coverage, eating disorders are cover as if they were as other severe disorder. the mental health field is a tricky one with not enough money to help those in need. at this point of my life, i meet some of the criteria for eating disorder NOS, however there is not enough to be diagnosed as that. the struggle with the band as i have seen for myself and others, is adjusting to how other people look at you. the attention that you received as well as how your behavior changes because of the way you feel is what has affected me. the first thing is to realize that there is a problem, and so i am working on how to deal with it. Thank you for sharing your feelings, and i am glad to hear that you are doing well.

[jhawkchick75]

I also am newer in this process and can't give much, but here are my two cents...

Eating is an addiction just like many others, and i've seen many TV shows where you see people that have LB or GBP surgery turn to alcohol, gambling, drugs, etc...which I find very fascinating. A lot of people lose the weight and then can't deal because they then have to deal with the "real them" so to speak and can't hide behind the fat anymore.

I know for me, i've lost weight a ton in the past and once I started getting attention I quit. So that will be something interesting for me to deal with as I progress. Guess i'm one of those hiding behind the fat folks.

Anyhoo, it is a very interesting topic and something I think everyone needs to address...we deal with the physical but the mental is just as important.

[hopeful33]

I only had my surgery six days ago so I don’t think I will be of any help to you from the perspective of someone who’s reached their goal weight. What I can tell you though from experience is that people are visual creatures and that does tend to motivate them to some degree. However making decisions that effect you and your own mental health based on the perceptions or visual whims of other people is never a good idea whether you are obese or thin.

[nothereanymore]

I’ve been with my husband since 78, we married in 80. I’ve been fat and thin and spent a good chunk of that time obese and morbidly obese. He always loved me and I’m still with him, not interested in a divorce or becoming a stripper, I have to spend more time letting him know I love him, that’s were our marriage issues most likely come from, when men feel threatened at times it can send them into a tail spin and they are the ones more likely to go off path.

On another note, I think those who become a stripper and fall into those lifestyles most likely continue to have low self esteem and need serious help.

You change in confidence, there’s no question to it, but as humans we change as we grow old as well and we change as we become more experienced in life – in a marriage you just have to work it out. You get extra attention from other men, but my take is if you didn’t like me when I was fat, you’re attention means absolutely nothing to me. I have my same friends, not many were overweight when I was and some are now, that’s just life.

You take what’s good, and leave the bad, and learn as much as you can from the experience. I think many people will think that we changed who we are inside as well because we act differant; the truth is this most likely who we truly are, we just hid it under 100 + extra pounds….

[PAMPAM]

Hi Everyone!!

Some of you may know that i am studying to become a licensed forensic psychologist. I have been in both ends of the weight spectrum, meaning that i have always being "normal" weight, then got pregnant and found myself morbidly obese and then now i am "skinny". As a therapist, i psychoanalyze everything meaning that the relationship that i have with other people have changed inmensely and i am always questioning the reasons why. I am happily married with two children. Before i got married i received tons of attention from man and women, however i received even more attention now which creates a lot of confusion and frustration. its frustrating to see man look at a woman like if she has no clothes. its also frustrating because man do not care that i am married. Here is where the temptations come in. I worked with many individuals that have gone through the band and have changed their lives in all aspects. many of them got divorced while others became strippers.

So my question to all you bandster out there, how has the band affected you psychologically? Please understand that i am not trying to do cyber therapy, all i am trying to see if how other people feel and how i can relate to them. Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts since i find myself many times without someone to talk to.

[trulytangledgrl]

I have definitely found that, at times, it is a psychological struggle for me since I have been banded. I am also in the psychology field (Master's degree in Social Work) and have thought about this as well. For me, the psychological struggle was more difficult at first, because I wasn't used to the band and the way it worked. It was trial and error. Many times, I couldn't eat - - if I was angry, sad, excited, etc... I couldn't just run and stuff my face instead of dealing head-on with my feelings. That was extremely difficult.... more than I can even emphasize. At times I almost broke down and many times I ended up crying and becoming overly emotional. My life has changed drastically. I find myself trying to avoid going out to dinner with friends because many of my friends don't know about my surgery. My family also doesn't know about my surgery I chose not to tell them for my own reasons. It is VERY difficult to be around them because they constantly tell me I'm "getting too skinny" and commenting on the amount of food I eat and I think they are a little weary.

Since I have had the band for quite a bit longer now, and I am used to it and I pay more attention to my body and also my emotions and psychological state. If I find myself skimming in the cupboards or fridge, I stop and I ask myself "why?" Why am I looking for food when I am not REALLY hungry? I think about it and generally there is a reason. Something just happened that got me angry or upset in some way, maybe I am anxious or bored. Instead of eating, I will deal with whatever is eating away at me - - ha ha nice pun, huh? Anyhow...

As far as my relationships with others, they have also changed quite significantly. My partner needs a lot of reassurance in general, and since my surgery and dropping 45 lbs, its even worse. Our relationship is strained because her insecurities really get to me sometimes. I find her accusing me of liking other people, if I am going out with friends she will get jealous or angry, sometimes if I am out she will think I am lying to her about where I was and she has also started looking on my cell phone at my contacts and also at my text messages. Its very difficult to deal with. In a way I understand her insecurities as I do get a LOT more attention, but what she doesn't understand is that, Like Lisa said, I don't CARE about those people because in general they didn't give me a second glance when I was bigger.... so why should I give a crap about them? My partner and I are trying day by day to work through it, but, yes it has put an immense strain on our relationship.

[SandraMinnesota]

Hi Everyone!!

Some of you may know that i am studying to become a licensed forensic psychologist. I have been in both ends of the weight spectrum, meaning that i have always being "normal" weight, then got pregnant and found myself morbidly obese and then now i am "skinny". As a therapist, i psychoanalyze everything meaning that the relationship that i have with other people have changed inmensely and i am always questioning the reasons why. I am happily married with two children. Before i got married i received tons of attention from man and women, however i received even more attention now which creates a lot of confusion and frustration. its frustrating to see man look at a woman like if she has no clothes. its also frustrating because man do not care that i am married. Here is where the temptations come in. I worked with many individuals that have gone through the band and have changed their lives in all aspects. many of them got divorced while others became strippers.

So my question to all you bandster out there, how has the band affected you psychologically? Please understand that i am not trying to do cyber therapy, all i am trying to see if how other people feel and how i can relate to them. Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts since i find myself many times without someone to talk to.

I know one thing for sure. I just wanna be looked at as a sex object for once in my life. ha ha ha. Sandra

[PAMPAM]

I am new to the site. I had my band inserted on July 2006, so it has been 2 1/2 years. I have lost 90 pounds and have maintined my goal weight now for anout 1 1/2. Yes there have been changes in my life, my marriage and also changes in how I feel about myself. To begin with, I was not happy prior the surgery with my life and then when I lost all of the weight, I felt very secure and independant all of the sudden. After reading the posts, I agree that men approach me even though they know I am married, leaving me to believe I can do better. Again, knowing that I had problems previously did not help my situation. So I agree with most that there are changes that we go thru and also experience life changes as well. My sister also had the surgery and I feel that the weight loss also affected her but I feel it is for the better. We are all living better healthier lives becuase of the band.

My concern is that I have an appt. in the am because all of the sudden I have severe acid reflux and can not get rid of it. I have been treated with meds and has not helped. I can not eat without getting sick, the food is not going down, so I either am going to have to have them draw the fluid or there will be a band removed because it may have slipped. I will pray that it hasn't, I can not go without this band. So we will see.

Hopes this helps your survey.

Pam

[calicat]

I'm not yet at goal weight - so I can only speak to the process.

I noticed a difference in how I was treated by waiters and cashiers about 3 months ago. It was so obvious. I'm the same person, shopping at the same stores, doing the same activities, but I'm respected more because of my weight, or lack of pounds thereof. That frustrates me. I won't go into details, but my husband is guilty of the same thing. He keeps telling me how he is proud of me - and I said....for what? What have I done? He says my weight loss. I say....but I'm the same person I was 11 months ago...just 80 pounds lighter. Weren't you proud of me or loved me as much then? Again, it just annoys me that society treats overweight people differently due to the shape of our butts, hips and thighs.

Now with that being said...I do now want to "rescue" people. We went to Red Robin the other day with family...I order the clam chowder. I don't feel left out or not included. But in another booth were two very heavy women "squished" in a both, sharing a tower of onion rings, two large chocolate shakes, and huge burgers. I wanted to talk to them, take a picture and show them what they looked like. They don't need all that food to make them happy. No one does. I would never do it - but I do want to help others....if they want to lose weight. That's key - you have to want to do it. The band isn't going to override someone who doesn't want to change.

I receive compliments now because of my weight loss. I appreciate it, but it's a little hard to take also. Why? I feel like a painter who's not yet finished their painting, or a builder, who has the roof on the new house, but the windows aren't in, walls not painted, etc. I'm not done yet. Makes me feel like I have pressure to perform now. It's pressure I'm putting on myself, because I've failed so many times, I want to succeed this time. I just feel like I'm on stage or something as there are many watching me now.

I think it's harder to lose weight than it was to gain. Gaining weight was relatively easy. Sure, someone would make a comment about your weight gain or look at you differently (you know the look of pity I'm talking about), but you could use food as the crutch to console the hurt feelings. Now...there is no crutch. Food is not an option. You have to strengthen yourself from the inside out. We cant' go binge, or eat bon bons like we used to hypothetically. It's hard. Working on yourself and trying to memorize all the new ways to eat, and establish new habits over the old ones I've had for 38 years is not easy.

What I find most amazing about this process is the picture of how I see myself hasn't changed. Sure....I see someone else in the mirror at 315 pounds, and I didnt' relate to what I saw. Because when I get dressed or walk around town, I have always thought of myself at 180 pounds. So now, at 235, as I'm getting closer to my goal weight, I actually see the start of that reflection in my head....in the mirror. And it does scare me. But I'm not running away from it - I'm learning to embrace it. I can't remember the last time the outside matched the inside.

I have seen, just as we all have, several Biggest Loser winners gain their weight back. I'm not a doctor, but I think they lost it too fast. I think their inside self-image didnt' mesh with their outside image. And I think the two need to go hand in hand to be successful.

I love my band and am so very glad I got it. My insurance wouldn't cover it as "nothing was wrong" with me. I had normal BP, normal cholesterol, hormones were off, but everything else was fine...except my scale weight. I didn't have the self control to succeed at WW, Jenny Craig, etc. The opportunity was always there to cheat, and I did. I didn't know how to change my lifestyle around food. Now food has changed around my lifestyle - and I love it!

Thanks for the great question. I look forward to reading other replies

[lock27]

I'm not yet at goal weight - so I can only speak to the process.

I noticed a difference in how I was treated by waiters and cashiers about 3 months ago. It was so obvious. I'm the same person, shopping at the same stores, doing the same activities, but I'm respected more because of my weight, or lack of pounds thereof. That frustrates me. I won't go into details, but my husband is guilty of the same thing. He keeps telling me how he is proud of me - and I said....for what? What have I done? He says my weight loss. I say....but I'm the same person I was 11 months ago...just 80 pounds lighter. Weren't you proud of me or loved me as much then? Again, it just annoys me that society treats overweight people differently due to the shape of our butts, hips and thighs.

Now with that being said...I do now want to "rescue" people. We went to Red Robin the other day with family...I order the clam chowder. I don't feel left out or not included. But in another booth were two very heavy women "squished" in a both, sharing a tower of onion rings, two large chocolate shakes, and huge burgers. I wanted to talk to them, take a picture and show them what they looked like. They don't need all that food to make them happy. No one does. I would never do it - but I do want to help others....if they want to lose weight. That's key - you have to want to do it. The band isn't going to override someone who doesn't want to change.

I receive compliments now because of my weight loss. I appreciate it, but it's a little hard to take also. Why? I feel like a painter who's not yet finished their painting, or a builder, who has the roof on the new house, but the windows aren't in, walls not painted, etc. I'm not done yet. Makes me feel like I have pressure to perform now. It's pressure I'm putting on myself, because I've failed so many times, I want to succeed this time. I just feel like I'm on stage or something as there are many watching me now.

I think it's harder to lose weight than it was to gain. Gaining weight was relatively easy. Sure, someone would make a comment about your weight gain or look at you differently (you know the look of pity I'm talking about), but you could use food as the crutch to console the hurt feelings. Now...there is no crutch. Food is not an option. You have to strengthen yourself from the inside out. We cant' go binge, or eat bon bons like we used to hypothetically. It's hard. Working on yourself and trying to memorize all the new ways to eat, and establish new habits over the old ones I've had for 38 years is not easy.

What I find most amazing about this process is the picture of how I see myself hasn't changed. Sure....I see someone else in the mirror at 315 pounds, and I didnt' relate to what I saw. Because when I get dressed or walk around town, I have always thought of myself at 180 pounds. So now, at 235, as I'm getting closer to my goal weight, I actually see the start of that reflection in my head....in the mirror. And it does scare me. But I'm not running away from it - I'm learning to embrace it. I can't remember the last time the outside matched the inside.

I have seen, just as we all have, several Biggest Loser winners gain their weight back. I'm not a doctor, but I think they lost it too fast. I think their inside self-image didnt' mesh with their outside image. And I think the two need to go hand in hand to be successful.

I love my band and am so very glad I got it. My insurance wouldn't cover it as "nothing was wrong" with me. I had normal BP, normal cholesterol, hormones were off, but everything else was fine...except my scale weight. I didn't have the self control to succeed at WW, Jenny Craig, etc. The opportunity was always there to cheat, and I did. I didn't know how to change my lifestyle around food. Now food has changed around my lifestyle - and I love it!

Thanks for the great question. I look forward to reading other replies

thank you for an amazing post. As yourself, i have felt the same way. i see a person in the mirror that men are continously disrespectfully making comments, and yet i hate it becuase i am still the same person. And then again, i realize that in this society, the way you look is what is going to get you a job or even elected as a president. I am becoming a licensed hypnotist as well and i have learned all about weight loss and the impact it makes on people. i agree with my professor that if i had someone guiding me through and seeing the changes from the begginning, maybe i would not be dealing with some of these insecurities. Sure in the begginning you love what you see, but when you reached goal you are afraid of this new person. You may also feel afraid of gaining weight because it will change how others will look at you. and yet we got the band for ourselves and not for someone else. I believe my original question was a tough one especially for those that wish to ignore the problem. I am seriously thinking about going into weight counseling, but then again i dont know how many peoplke would actually attend. i feel that not only my education has provided me with the experience, but my personal experience as well. Once again, thank you for your post, it really makes me feel that i am not the only one out there feeling this way.

[lock27]

I am new to the site. I had my band inserted on July 2006, so it has been 2 1/2 years. I have lost 90 pounds and have maintined my goal weight now for anout 1 1/2. Yes there have been changes in my life, my marriage and also changes in how I feel about myself. To begin with, I was not happy prior the surgery with my life and then when I lost all of the weight, I felt very secure and independant all of the sudden. After reading the posts, I agree that men approach me even though they know I am married, leaving me to believe I can do better. Again, knowing that I had problems previously did not help my situation. So I agree with most that there are changes that we go thru and also experience life changes as well. My sister also had the surgery and I feel that the weight loss also affected her but I feel it is for the better. We are all living better healthier lives becuase of the band.

My concern is that I have an appt. in the am because all of the sudden I have severe acid reflux and can not get rid of it. I have been treated with meds and has not helped. I can not eat without getting sick, the food is not going down, so I either am going to have to have them draw the fluid or there will be a band removed because it may have slipped. I will pray that it hasn't, I can not go without this band. So we will see.

Hopes this helps your survey.

Pam

Hi Pam,

its interesting you say about your marriage, since i had the same issues. my husband and i have been married for over 8 years. i go to school in chicago where i get hit on continously. i have seen some of the men and the type of jobs they do which makes me feel the same way as you do that i can do better. yet i think that my hubby loved me when i was big and now that i am small. yet he struggles with his own insecurities becuase of how often men approach me. it is interesting how the band is to help us loose the weight, andyet i feel that we loose a whole other person.

[GirlBarb]

Wow, I liked all the honesty in this post.

Here is mine: My husband is proud of my for loosing the weight, although I have more to go. He also didn't notice that I was as big as I was when I got banded. He said so when he looked at the TJ pictures before surgery.

My BIGGEST fear weakness that causes problems is that I stop focus on the band lifestyle change, I slip back to old habbits and thinking when anything and I mean anything disrupts my attention I am back to square one and have to get motivated all over again, and in the meanwhile, I gain weight.

example: I am planning a move and my focus is on everthing except me. I don't seem to mind until I realize that I have all the steam and motivation to continue with the new way of life that helped me loose the weight post banding is gone as if it never happened, I even forget it is there 90% of the time.

But it freaks me out that I can't keep the band lifestyle going. I want to exercise and don't becasue my feet hurt and I get body aches that discurage me doing what I should. I look to food for comfort and it works for the time being, but I know that this is going to hurt me worse in the long run and I will only feel worse. Why do I do this to myself?? Why do I listen to what ever is throwing me off goal and not to my loving voice of reason?

I'm not trusting myself at all today, because I have been out of control. I wish I could be better to myself.

On the brighter side, writting this post is helping me get back on track, thank you all for listening. Barb